There are dating rules that run rampant in the dating world that just need to go away!
MYTH: MEN AND WOMEN CAN BE "JUST FRIENDS"
This is a debate. I don't know the answer and don't care. It's case by case. You obviously don't want to hang around with someone who is single and be their surrogate mate whether you are spoken for or not. Some people can just be friends. The less mature two people are the less likely they will stay 'just friends'.
Being married or in relationship with someone else is no exception.
If you put a man and a woman in a situation where they continually doing friendly type things...if there is some sort of attraction, depending, someone is going to buckle or already has.
For someone to think its possible to hang out with the opposite sex and get away with it and just being friendly, they are disregarding that other people have feelings too.
What other reason would someone want to just "hang out" with someone?
To get to know them better and possibly have a romantic interlude or relationship, maybe?
Yes there are acceptable factors when two people of the opposite sex can "work" together and like I said it has to do with maturity.
Would you not be floored if you were married and your so-called friend spilled their guts and was wondering when you were going to dump your spouse for them? True stories.
Use your discrection and most importantly look out for the feelings of other people.
MYTH: THE SOONER YOU SLEEP WITH SOMEONE, THE MORE YOUR CHANCES FOR SOMETHING LONG TERM ARE DIMINISHED
Who made up this rule?
Men probably did and it may be true in some cases and false in others.
What I hear most is that people have seen it happen. That is because they wanted it that way!
"A girl slept with me on the second date and now I don't respect her."
But the third date would be ok right? See how this is silly?
Men who accept this rule set themselves up and allow women to use sex as a bargaining chip.
Would you pass up a great relationship because someone lived in the heat of the moment?
Would you pass up a date with someone you were really interested in because they didn't want to have sex right away?
To follow this rule is asinine and brings me to the next rule to abolish.
MYTH: A WOMAN SHOULD PUT OUT IN THREE DATES OR SHE IS HISTORY
This has to do with giving people the benefit of the doubt. Is this a good idea or not?
But there are some factors that do not ensue sex by date three.
--You missed her signals.
She has been eyeing you all night, touching you, giving off sexual signals to no end--
And you just sit there being polite. Even a gentleman would know what to do!
He would take her NOW!
Go back to the previous rule so you can see how silly it really is.
(Ridiculous side note: You know what a weird feeling it is for a woman to tell someone they didn't know that well that they were on their period? It kinda spoils the moment. Not only that, with all the restrictions men have it gives a woman a perfect excuse to use that line too!
Try holding out until the fourth date and longer if you can!)
MYTH: ITS BAD TO WEAR YOUR HEART ON YOUR SLEEVE
I want all hearts visable so I know what I am dealing with. You may judge or not judge or be turned off or not. That is up to you. Sometimes it can be a red flag and other times it is completely innocent.
MYTH: MEN WHO DON'T CALL RIGHT AWAY ARE NOT INTERESTED
First things first girls: get a hobby.
Take up anything that will keep you away from the phone.
You are not allowed to sit next to the phone and wait for anyone to call. They will call when they call if they ever do.
The main reason men don't call right away is because they do like you and don't want to screw up their chances and seem too eager. Or sadly they really aren't interested.
Ever notice how some clingy call all the time? Then they wonder why you never call them back!
They too are passing time because they have nothing going on.
There are no guidelines as to wether you should call first or not. If you feel you want to call him do it!
If you call and a guys says..."Oh I was busy"...more than likely he is not interested. You need to weigh the 'terms benefit of the doubt' and 'doormat' very carefully.
An interested person would drop what he is doing to get in touch with you. He would not leave you to wonder if he is going to call, but you should not be wondering because you have a new hobby right?
If he is the kind of person who is into playing games and says "She called me...she just lost some points." and they think they have one over on you, you could be in trouble.
Or they really aren't playing games but are chronic procrastinators (See above: Giving the benefit of the doubt) and just don't call, don't feel too bad if things don't work out.
These people are doing you a favor!
MYTH: NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE LET THE GUY DO SO
This good friends is an art.
There are subtle ways to make the first move without the guy even knowing it!
Instantly he is interested!
If he picks up on the bait he is a smart man.
You can give him all the credit later on how he was so forward in the way he handled you when you first met.
The flip side to this is if you find that you are chasing him he will do two things: Run fast and far
-or-
hook up with you because he has nothing going on or no one else is interested in him.
That is a dynamic that cannot be ignored.
If you are ok with the second scenario pursue away. It is an art don't forget and you don't need to pursue.
If you are looking for something a little more real, its best not to wear your heart on your sleeve especially to a person who is oblivious or just not interested.
A man who knows how to handle women is the one who will be pursuing you!
No comments:
Post a Comment