(This article is not for the easily insulted. If the truth is too much for you skip this part and go back to the Focus article. Comments are definintely encouraged.)
It’s a Numbers Game
In short, for men it’s never knowing what you will get because there are not enough quality women dating online. Every one of them cannot be a knockout.
For women, you run the risk of being one of many on the roster for certain guys who “troll” online looking for someone, anyone, who will give them the time of day or use you to idly pass time or for sex.
What Are the Odds?
Online dating is much harder for men. Men are more likely to have access to computers than women. They are more likely to cruise and subscribe and send out the dating vibe on a dating site than women are. They are more driven and focused when it comes to finding a date. Once again, because there are more men, and because they may be looking for a certain type of woman, they are more likely to be rejected.
Men are more open about what they want as well. They know it, and they say it. Women are more logical and emotional and need to see they can trust someone. When they see the trust, they then need a reason to follow through with a date.
It’s a Woman’s World
Women usually have their pick in the dating world. In general men suffer from rejection much more often than women when it comes to dating.
How about online?
You bet. Whether women know it or not, they definitely have their pick and not the other way around. They have absolute power and absolute power corrupts! Women are outnumbered and literally get anywhere from 10 to 100 emails a day. What an ego boost!
But that is where the corruption comes in.
Some women will answer an email just to be polite, because women at times have a hard time saying no.
Additionally, in order to keep the masses of men entertained and morale high, there needs to be a lot of women online. Fake women even! For every 3 men who date online there are two women. One is probably an model posing for and advertisment!
The Secret is Out
For men and women the least of their worries should be people who are married (although not advised) legally seperated or who have children—There are plenty of other sterotypes that need to be avoided!
Red Flags For Men to Look For:
-Continually being turned down after asking for several dates (chicks just don’t know how to say no). Women who make a lot of excuses like they were busy, they have plans or another date, they forgot, email was down, and so on. Save yourself some agony. They are what breakfast cereals are made of; flakes.
If they sound sincere in their apology and arrange another meeting time, that is a bit more permissible. Life happens and plans change.
I'll give girls a break. Myself, I had to literally ask serveral men how to tell a man without crushing him that I wasn't interested. What a funny question. I didn't know. Now I do and some men don't like that answer still.
Point blank you tell them: I'm not interested.
Men, don't try this with women it's totally different!
Some more red flags...
-Women who lead you to a website that has a membership. Not women at all but so-called business men in disguise.
If they really are women:
-The lowest of the low, women who go on dating sites to bait and switch. They act like they are looking for romance, hook you and then try to sell you something. Anything! There are also women who are looking for someone to take them to dinner or a club on a regular basis just to pass time, save money, show you off to their friends or are waiting until their ex-boyfriend comes and hits them up for a booty call. This is a step above street walker. Don’t walk. Run. Unless of course you need a last minute date or romp. In that situation, these kind of girls are perfect.
-Women who need attention and are just after that ego boost. (See “makes excuses.”)
-Women who just broke up with their ex’s just weeks before. Probably the other way around and they got dumped for a reason. This can happen in the case of men as well. Terrible to say men are more likely to jump online and start looking for a hookup sooner than women will when a relationship ends. Woman are more likely to find a temporary boyfriend until the old one comes back. Men are more likely to go online for a new permanent girlfriend.
Red Flags For Women:
-The ever popular dick pic! Boys will be boys but they are just looking for attention. Even negative attention. Anything will do. If you decide to be daring that's fine, but what you see is probably the only what you will get.
-A profile that contains defamatory comments about the opposite gender. Avoid these men like the plague. They will also try and tell you how it is going to be: They make the rules and the rules always work out in their favor despite what you think. It is never win-win. To them, all women love assholes!
Their self-esteem is in the gutter and they will try to tell you that yours is too! They are toxic and should be avoided.
-A man’s favorite game is to hold back to keep you interested. This is a player’s game that will always backfire. The saying is we long for what we cannot have or absense makes the heart grow fonder. Not after a few dates! After you get to know someone it is still not appropriate to distance yourself, and yes you miss your honey more.
(Note: this is not a game but human nature when it comes to women. When a woman is not receiving the affection she needs (a female’s need for affection is the equivelant of sex to a guy), this causes a natural form of distress and she distances herself UNINTENTIONALLY. It’s her natural instinct to do so. You cannot argue with hard-wiring.Men know how it feels to be distanced. So in turn they think this is a tactic that will work to their advantage. But when you distance yourself from a woman, the only ones who will run back are the needy. A smart woman will just walk away until the guy comes around—that is if he is serious, or if she hasn’t already moved on.)
-Guys who ask for last minute dates or are traveling from out of town looking for a hookup.
Someone stood them up or cancelled and you are just next in line to either turn them down or meet up for cocktails. You are just a back up.
If they travel a lot, once they get to know you they don't have to book a hotel anymore. Why would they?
Other Red Flags For Both Genders:
-Credit cards to access information or a profile.
-You suspect a person is married. They want to see you all the time but make up excuses why they can’t. All their spare time is devoted to you so it seems they are not married or in a relationship at all. Just ask them if your gut tells you something is off. The truth will surface.
-Does not want to exchange pictures. This kind of person, both man and woman, if they insist are too self conscious or is into game playing so just walk away.
-If you suspect a person has children and they don’t tell you. Think about if you are after a fling or not. That is all they might be looking for or they don't trust you enough to share that kind of information with you yet.
If they are not serious about you, just have fun if that is all you are looking for. If they want to take the relationship to the next level, they will bring up their personal and family life. If it’s not something you want, just ask or tell them that you want to know the truth. Stay or go, your choice.
(Please send me your “red flags” and keep online dating safe, fun and for people in the know.)info@dynamicsofdating.com
