There is an article in the Seattle PI today and a little company who makes personal hygiene products for men did a survey and conclude that:
Seattle is the best city in the US for the hook up!
Ok I have devised my own poll and split it up for a yes or no from both men and women just to see the results.
Vote at the poll here!
Dutch Explained
Yeah I pull my hair out on this one too. Not to boast but I have never had a problem with it. Trying to decide and explain and take sides really sucks but I did have an observation that you can read in 'Dutch for Ladies and Gentleman'. Notice the title. If this does not apply to you don't worry about it then.
Who should pick up the tab on the first date?
Vote here!
Explain your version of dutch to me.
info@dynamicsofdating.com
Who should pick up the tab on the first date?
Vote here!
Explain your version of dutch to me.
info@dynamicsofdating.com
What do you want?
This is a Trick Question
You're at your favorite dating site clicking profile after profile and notice these little lists and criteria that almost everyone has.
Some are over the top and some are of no mention whatsoever.
Here is and add I posted in a popular dating site which asks:
What do you want?
Most ads I see nowadays are about what the poster wants.
What do you want? Email me a pic and I'll tell you if I've got what you want.
No dick pics please. And don't tell me you want a girl who likes dick pics.
All dick pics will be reported.
I was open an honest about my approach. I wanted guys to tell me what they wanted. What I did not want were dick pics. I only received two pictures of guys who pointed out their names were Dick out of the 55 responses I have received so far.
Not one guy said they wanted a woman who was skinny, a manx in the sack or a woman to take care of their every need. Nor did they mention college education or financial independence.
They did all more or less have the same answer: a lasting relationship.
All in all there was one that I wanted to respond to and didn't because he stated he did not want to live with a girlfriend. Oh well. He sure had a nice picture.
Back to the trick question part.
There is a right answer to this question and it is the basis for any relationship whether you are a man or a woman.
If you think you know what the right answer is send me an email with your reply and the city you are in.
When it comes to a relationship what do you want?
You're at your favorite dating site clicking profile after profile and notice these little lists and criteria that almost everyone has.
Some are over the top and some are of no mention whatsoever.
Here is and add I posted in a popular dating site which asks:
What do you want?
Most ads I see nowadays are about what the poster wants.
What do you want? Email me a pic and I'll tell you if I've got what you want.
No dick pics please. And don't tell me you want a girl who likes dick pics.
All dick pics will be reported.
I was open an honest about my approach. I wanted guys to tell me what they wanted. What I did not want were dick pics. I only received two pictures of guys who pointed out their names were Dick out of the 55 responses I have received so far.
Not one guy said they wanted a woman who was skinny, a manx in the sack or a woman to take care of their every need. Nor did they mention college education or financial independence.
They did all more or less have the same answer: a lasting relationship.
All in all there was one that I wanted to respond to and didn't because he stated he did not want to live with a girlfriend. Oh well. He sure had a nice picture.
Back to the trick question part.
There is a right answer to this question and it is the basis for any relationship whether you are a man or a woman.
If you think you know what the right answer is send me an email with your reply and the city you are in.
When it comes to a relationship what do you want?
More Dating Rules to Break
There's more?
Yes. Three more.
-Men Love Bitches
-There Are Plenty of Fish In the Sea
-Asking Your Friends for Feedback
Do you have a dating rule that you think should be broken?
Let us know so we can pass it on!
info@dynamicsofdating.com
Yes. Three more.
-Men Love Bitches
-There Are Plenty of Fish In the Sea
-Asking Your Friends for Feedback
Do you have a dating rule that you think should be broken?
Let us know so we can pass it on!
info@dynamicsofdating.com
Breaking All The Rules
Do you ever wonder what is going through the minds of some people?
There are dating rules that run rampant in the dating world that just need to go away!
MYTH: MEN AND WOMEN CAN BE "JUST FRIENDS"
This is a debate. I don't know the answer and don't care. It's case by case. You obviously don't want to hang around with someone who is single and be their surrogate mate whether you are spoken for or not. Some people can just be friends. The less mature two people are the less likely they will stay 'just friends'.
Being married or in relationship with someone else is no exception.
If you put a man and a woman in a situation where they continually doing friendly type things...if there is some sort of attraction, depending, someone is going to buckle or already has.
For someone to think its possible to hang out with the opposite sex and get away with it and just being friendly, they are disregarding that other people have feelings too.
What other reason would someone want to just "hang out" with someone?
To get to know them better and possibly have a romantic interlude or relationship, maybe?
Yes there are acceptable factors when two people of the opposite sex can "work" together and like I said it has to do with maturity.
Would you not be floored if you were married and your so-called friend spilled their guts and was wondering when you were going to dump your spouse for them? True stories.
Use your discrection and most importantly look out for the feelings of other people.
There are dating rules that run rampant in the dating world that just need to go away!
MYTH: MEN AND WOMEN CAN BE "JUST FRIENDS"
This is a debate. I don't know the answer and don't care. It's case by case. You obviously don't want to hang around with someone who is single and be their surrogate mate whether you are spoken for or not. Some people can just be friends. The less mature two people are the less likely they will stay 'just friends'.
Being married or in relationship with someone else is no exception.
If you put a man and a woman in a situation where they continually doing friendly type things...if there is some sort of attraction, depending, someone is going to buckle or already has.
For someone to think its possible to hang out with the opposite sex and get away with it and just being friendly, they are disregarding that other people have feelings too.
What other reason would someone want to just "hang out" with someone?
To get to know them better and possibly have a romantic interlude or relationship, maybe?
Yes there are acceptable factors when two people of the opposite sex can "work" together and like I said it has to do with maturity.
Would you not be floored if you were married and your so-called friend spilled their guts and was wondering when you were going to dump your spouse for them? True stories.
Use your discrection and most importantly look out for the feelings of other people.
MYTH: THE SOONER YOU SLEEP WITH SOMEONE, THE MORE YOUR CHANCES FOR SOMETHING LONG TERM ARE DIMINISHED
Who made up this rule?
Men probably did and it may be true in some cases and false in others.
What I hear most is that people have seen it happen. That is because they wanted it that way!
"A girl slept with me on the second date and now I don't respect her."
But the third date would be ok right? See how this is silly?
Men who accept this rule set themselves up and allow women to use sex as a bargaining chip.
Would you pass up a great relationship because someone lived in the heat of the moment?
Would you pass up a date with someone you were really interested in because they didn't want to have sex right away?
To follow this rule is asinine and brings me to the next rule to abolish.
MYTH: A WOMAN SHOULD PUT OUT IN THREE DATES OR SHE IS HISTORY
This has to do with giving people the benefit of the doubt. Is this a good idea or not?
But there are some factors that do not ensue sex by date three.
--You missed her signals.
She has been eyeing you all night, touching you, giving off sexual signals to no end--
And you just sit there being polite. Even a gentleman would know what to do!
He would take her NOW!
Go back to the previous rule so you can see how silly it really is.
(Ridiculous side note: You know what a weird feeling it is for a woman to tell someone they didn't know that well that they were on their period? It kinda spoils the moment. Not only that, with all the restrictions men have it gives a woman a perfect excuse to use that line too!
Try holding out until the fourth date and longer if you can!)
MYTH: ITS BAD TO WEAR YOUR HEART ON YOUR SLEEVE
I want all hearts visable so I know what I am dealing with. You may judge or not judge or be turned off or not. That is up to you. Sometimes it can be a red flag and other times it is completely innocent.
MYTH: MEN WHO DON'T CALL RIGHT AWAY ARE NOT INTERESTED
First things first girls: get a hobby.
Take up anything that will keep you away from the phone.
You are not allowed to sit next to the phone and wait for anyone to call. They will call when they call if they ever do.
The main reason men don't call right away is because they do like you and don't want to screw up their chances and seem too eager. Or sadly they really aren't interested.
Ever notice how some clingy call all the time? Then they wonder why you never call them back!
They too are passing time because they have nothing going on.
There are no guidelines as to wether you should call first or not. If you feel you want to call him do it!
If you call and a guys says..."Oh I was busy"...more than likely he is not interested. You need to weigh the 'terms benefit of the doubt' and 'doormat' very carefully.
An interested person would drop what he is doing to get in touch with you. He would not leave you to wonder if he is going to call, but you should not be wondering because you have a new hobby right?
If he is the kind of person who is into playing games and says "She called me...she just lost some points." and they think they have one over on you, you could be in trouble.
Or they really aren't playing games but are chronic procrastinators (See above: Giving the benefit of the doubt) and just don't call, don't feel too bad if things don't work out.
These people are doing you a favor!
MYTH: NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE LET THE GUY DO SO
This good friends is an art.
There are subtle ways to make the first move without the guy even knowing it!
Instantly he is interested!
If he picks up on the bait he is a smart man.
You can give him all the credit later on how he was so forward in the way he handled you when you first met.
The flip side to this is if you find that you are chasing him he will do two things: Run fast and far
-or-
hook up with you because he has nothing going on or no one else is interested in him.
That is a dynamic that cannot be ignored.
If you are ok with the second scenario pursue away. It is an art don't forget and you don't need to pursue.
If you are looking for something a little more real, its best not to wear your heart on your sleeve especially to a person who is oblivious or just not interested.
A man who knows how to handle women is the one who will be pursuing you!
Bring Back a Lost Love
An online friend turned me on to this invaluable book!
What does it have to do with online dating? Everything! For one thing it is an ebook, and two
if you are using online dating as a tool to hook up with a rebound you may not be over someone else you loved yet. Did you not get the chance to do everything you could to avoid a break up? Its never too late and you never know until you try.
Good luck!
What does it have to do with online dating? Everything! For one thing it is an ebook, and two
if you are using online dating as a tool to hook up with a rebound you may not be over someone else you loved yet. Did you not get the chance to do everything you could to avoid a break up? Its never too late and you never know until you try.
Good luck!
Why Do People Flake Online
The Truth Revealed!!
This is a follow up as to why some people do not repond to emails, post, or drop contact altogether:
The women said:
-No pic in profile or email.
-Just got bored with emailing. Guy procrastinated or didn’t ask them out.
-Lots of one-liners and canned responses. “Hit me back.” “Hi there. “Do you like what you see?” “Your pic gets mine.”
-Same people kept responding to their ads OR they already knew the person or worked with them.
-Too old or too young.
-No details about themselves
-Too many details about themselves
-They just broke up with an ex
-Keeps talking about their ex
-Sloppy grammar along with not being able to hold a conversation
-Just not interested
-The guy was married or looking for a fling
-They were prejudiced or blatantly had issues with women. And these were their best qualities!
-They were a control freak. Expectations too high, too critical. Listed “requirements" but had a problem with women making "laundry-lists"
-Mentioned a fixation with looks or weight
AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON WOMEN DO NOT RESPOND TO POST OR EMAILS:
Dick pics!!
(Yes. Even a gay guy said he hated getting dick pics.)
(Men make a difference in your online dating world! What are the reasons you passed up certain ladies online?)
This is a follow up as to why some people do not repond to emails, post, or drop contact altogether:
The women said:
-No pic in profile or email.
-Just got bored with emailing. Guy procrastinated or didn’t ask them out.
-Lots of one-liners and canned responses. “Hit me back.” “Hi there. “Do you like what you see?” “Your pic gets mine.”
-Same people kept responding to their ads OR they already knew the person or worked with them.
-Too old or too young.
-No details about themselves
-Too many details about themselves
-They just broke up with an ex
-Keeps talking about their ex
-Sloppy grammar along with not being able to hold a conversation
-Just not interested
-The guy was married or looking for a fling
-They were prejudiced or blatantly had issues with women. And these were their best qualities!
-They were a control freak. Expectations too high, too critical. Listed “requirements" but had a problem with women making "laundry-lists"
-Mentioned a fixation with looks or weight
AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON WOMEN DO NOT RESPOND TO POST OR EMAILS:
Dick pics!!
(Yes. Even a gay guy said he hated getting dick pics.)
(Men make a difference in your online dating world! What are the reasons you passed up certain ladies online?)
Make Your Profile Work For You
Would you believe that a serious digital dater would sabotage themselves by not stating specifically what they are looking for?
One of my favorite dating sites is Intimateadults.com and let me tell you why.
They have a compatibility meter that helps you determine if you are, well, compatible!
They also have three categories: Dating, Relationship and Intimate Encounter.
You can tag your profile with just one category or all three.
Intimate Adults lets you sign up for free and browse profiles. Premium members are allowed to use messenger and send messages to others. The free members are allowed to respond and also use the messenger. Anyone can send an “I’m interested” to anyone on the site for free.
It really is a lot of fun!
So how do you make your profile work for you?
My number one rule in dating online or off is this:
-DO NOT SETTLE FOR LESS-
If you are dating out of boredom, you’re wasting your money time and energy and that of others on dating sites.
Some people have told me that my profile is too harsh and chases people away.
Well good. That means it’s working for me!
Out of the hundreds of possibilities I only want the ones who are not afraid and looking for the same things that I am.
When I'm online dating, I specifically state that you should have a picture and at least a compatibility of 90%. They also need to be willing to fly, walk of swim and meet someone across the country or play host while someone is visiting their city.
That is the honest truth.
Here are the responses that I automatically delete.
-No picture in profile.
-A compatibility rating of 89% or less.
-A tag on their profile that says they expect Dating or Intimate Encounters only.
-Persons who do not fit my age specifications. Even by just one year.
-Profiles that have rude or vulgar tag lines.
-People who are married.
WHAT WILL YOU BEND FOR
When dealing with others, no two people can ever bee 100% compatible no matter what your computer generated compatibility dictates.
In work, family and business you need to bend. Not so much to the breaking point but you needs to decide how far or for whom you are willing to do so.
If you find that a woman has a good compatibility score, but is a few pounds overweight, is that an issue for you?
They match your ideal mate in every way but are an Atheist and you are a Buddhist. Can this be overlooked? What is their take on the subject?
DEAL BREAKERS
For some the biggest deal breakers are children, smoking, religion, height and weight. Marriage or divorces are close runner ups. Financial status and education fit in there somewhere I’m sure.
If that is there preference then respect it!
I have seen some people put aside what they consider deal breakers because they genuinely liked the person. And to them it was only bending a little and not a totally compromise.
Just know and test your own limits are and decide where things are going so you understand what you are willing to live with.
Happy Dating!!
digitaldater@thedigitaldater.com
One of my favorite dating sites is Intimateadults.com and let me tell you why.
They have a compatibility meter that helps you determine if you are, well, compatible!
They also have three categories: Dating, Relationship and Intimate Encounter.
You can tag your profile with just one category or all three.
Intimate Adults lets you sign up for free and browse profiles. Premium members are allowed to use messenger and send messages to others. The free members are allowed to respond and also use the messenger. Anyone can send an “I’m interested” to anyone on the site for free.
It really is a lot of fun!
So how do you make your profile work for you?
My number one rule in dating online or off is this:
-DO NOT SETTLE FOR LESS-
If you are dating out of boredom, you’re wasting your money time and energy and that of others on dating sites.
Some people have told me that my profile is too harsh and chases people away.
Well good. That means it’s working for me!
Out of the hundreds of possibilities I only want the ones who are not afraid and looking for the same things that I am.
When I'm online dating, I specifically state that you should have a picture and at least a compatibility of 90%. They also need to be willing to fly, walk of swim and meet someone across the country or play host while someone is visiting their city.
That is the honest truth.
Here are the responses that I automatically delete.
-No picture in profile.
-A compatibility rating of 89% or less.
-A tag on their profile that says they expect Dating or Intimate Encounters only.
-Persons who do not fit my age specifications. Even by just one year.
-Profiles that have rude or vulgar tag lines.
-People who are married.
WHAT WILL YOU BEND FOR
When dealing with others, no two people can ever bee 100% compatible no matter what your computer generated compatibility dictates.
In work, family and business you need to bend. Not so much to the breaking point but you needs to decide how far or for whom you are willing to do so.
If you find that a woman has a good compatibility score, but is a few pounds overweight, is that an issue for you?
They match your ideal mate in every way but are an Atheist and you are a Buddhist. Can this be overlooked? What is their take on the subject?
DEAL BREAKERS
For some the biggest deal breakers are children, smoking, religion, height and weight. Marriage or divorces are close runner ups. Financial status and education fit in there somewhere I’m sure.
If that is there preference then respect it!
I have seen some people put aside what they consider deal breakers because they genuinely liked the person. And to them it was only bending a little and not a totally compromise.
Just know and test your own limits are and decide where things are going so you understand what you are willing to live with.
Happy Dating!!
digitaldater@thedigitaldater.com
Contact Information
Do you have a question you would like answered? Is there a topic you would like to have us dicsuss? Do you have questions about our sponsers?
Write to us and let us know. We would love to hear from you!!
Send your comments to: info@dynamicsofdating.com
Happy online dating!!
Jordan
Write to us and let us know. We would love to hear from you!!
Send your comments to: info@dynamicsofdating.com
Happy online dating!!
Jordan
Focus
DO YOU DIGITAL DATE WITH A PURPOSE?
Is cruising online dating sites a priority for you? Or is it something done randomly or out of lack of a better reason. I will not bring up being bored. Only people still in high school still get bored. If you suspect you may be bored, see my article on How Not to be Bored or Boring.
WHAT IS IT THAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR?
You need to set priorities of what you want to accomplish through your online endeavors. Think of it this way: if you focus on finding a spouse, you won’t need to digital date anymore. You shift your focus from online dating to taking care of your spouse.
If you like online dating and you just want to meet people while traveling, then your priority is to know when you travel and look for people in those cities in which you would like to meet.
NARROWING DOWN YOUR FOCUS
The number one complaint I hear from digital daters is that they often don’t get a response from someone they have started a conversation or set up a meeting with.
Now don’t beat yourself up over this. This can be cured in a relatively easy and painless manner.
There are tons of reasons why people do not respond which I will list later. Two factors come into play. Are they playing the field too widely? Are they focused in what they are looking for at all?
The best way to find out is to just ask.
First find your own purpose and decide what you expect from someone. You obviously want to be on the same page about things. So just ask.
NARROWING DOWN EVEN MORE
Your next step should be for you yourself to play the field, but not so loosely. You need to find 3 to 5 people IN YOUR AREA that are really interested in you and only focus on those five at the moment.
Out of those three to five people, ask them how serious they are about meeting someone and what they too are looking for.
It is that simple.
MORE ON GEOGRAPHICS
It is not enough to say you are open minded in either having a long distance relationship or that you are willing to meet someone from out of state or the country.
Depending on how serious you are you need to take the plunge and be willing to either, fly, drive or swim to see that person. Or be accommodating if they happen to be or travel to your area.
It is also not enough to say “I will fly you out here”. Meet them first and make that offer another time. If you are too busy to go and meet someone you are interested in from online, maybe online dating is not your focus at the moment.
Especially for women, I don’t know many that would be that daring or feel that safe to just jump on a plane to a strange land to meet someone for the first time.
Once you have established some raptor with someone then its more than a possibility or even better they will offer to come to you!
TAKE ACTION
STEP ONE: Decide on your purpose. What is your priority?
Example: Would like to meet someone into bondage.
STEP TWO: Find 3 to 5 people who interest you that are into bondage.
STEP THREE: Ask what their priority is for being online.
“We have exchanged two emails and so far I like what I am seeing. How serious are you about meeting someone from online?”
“What are the possibilities that we can take it to the next level? I feel very comfortable in our online conversation. Here is my phone number if you would like to talk some more about our interests.”
ELIMI-DATE
Now that you have put out the signal that you are interested, your job is to wait and see who takes the bait. If you offer up your phone number and do not receive a call, don’t take it personally. This person is either not serious, is scared off by a phone conversation or quite possibly has found another person who they were more compatible with.
These are not tragic issues. The beauty of online is there is no commitment.
Out of your 3-5 people if you do not meet one by the time you reach the end of your list just start the process over again.
It’s that easy.
Is cruising online dating sites a priority for you? Or is it something done randomly or out of lack of a better reason. I will not bring up being bored. Only people still in high school still get bored. If you suspect you may be bored, see my article on How Not to be Bored or Boring.
WHAT IS IT THAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR?
You need to set priorities of what you want to accomplish through your online endeavors. Think of it this way: if you focus on finding a spouse, you won’t need to digital date anymore. You shift your focus from online dating to taking care of your spouse.
If you like online dating and you just want to meet people while traveling, then your priority is to know when you travel and look for people in those cities in which you would like to meet.
NARROWING DOWN YOUR FOCUS
The number one complaint I hear from digital daters is that they often don’t get a response from someone they have started a conversation or set up a meeting with.
Now don’t beat yourself up over this. This can be cured in a relatively easy and painless manner.
There are tons of reasons why people do not respond which I will list later. Two factors come into play. Are they playing the field too widely? Are they focused in what they are looking for at all?
The best way to find out is to just ask.
First find your own purpose and decide what you expect from someone. You obviously want to be on the same page about things. So just ask.
NARROWING DOWN EVEN MORE
Your next step should be for you yourself to play the field, but not so loosely. You need to find 3 to 5 people IN YOUR AREA that are really interested in you and only focus on those five at the moment.
Out of those three to five people, ask them how serious they are about meeting someone and what they too are looking for.
It is that simple.
MORE ON GEOGRAPHICS
It is not enough to say you are open minded in either having a long distance relationship or that you are willing to meet someone from out of state or the country.
Depending on how serious you are you need to take the plunge and be willing to either, fly, drive or swim to see that person. Or be accommodating if they happen to be or travel to your area.
It is also not enough to say “I will fly you out here”. Meet them first and make that offer another time. If you are too busy to go and meet someone you are interested in from online, maybe online dating is not your focus at the moment.
Especially for women, I don’t know many that would be that daring or feel that safe to just jump on a plane to a strange land to meet someone for the first time.
Once you have established some raptor with someone then its more than a possibility or even better they will offer to come to you!
TAKE ACTION
STEP ONE: Decide on your purpose. What is your priority?
Example: Would like to meet someone into bondage.
STEP TWO: Find 3 to 5 people who interest you that are into bondage.
STEP THREE: Ask what their priority is for being online.
“We have exchanged two emails and so far I like what I am seeing. How serious are you about meeting someone from online?”
“What are the possibilities that we can take it to the next level? I feel very comfortable in our online conversation. Here is my phone number if you would like to talk some more about our interests.”
ELIMI-DATE
Now that you have put out the signal that you are interested, your job is to wait and see who takes the bait. If you offer up your phone number and do not receive a call, don’t take it personally. This person is either not serious, is scared off by a phone conversation or quite possibly has found another person who they were more compatible with.
These are not tragic issues. The beauty of online is there is no commitment.
Out of your 3-5 people if you do not meet one by the time you reach the end of your list just start the process over again.
It’s that easy.
Pick Up Lines
Do They Work?
Someone asked me the other day what the best pick up line was that I had heard.
Maybe I was just an impressionable young thing but a guy came up and asked me:
“Do you live around here?”
I answered “Yes”
And his response was: “Good then this won’t be long distance…” and he handed me his phone number.
Did this pick up line work?
Of course not!
But I would definitely give him points for being different.
Some believe that pick up lines are the magic pill that will get the opposite sex to be attracted to them instantaneously.
I was also impressed that he offered his number and didn’t ask for mine. How brave of him.
There are many factors why pick up lines do not work:
THEY SOUND TOO CONTRIVED
You are not being yourself but a robot of sorts. That is not interesting. Unless you really are a cheese-ball and know how to work this to your advantage, then you truly have a game plan all your own.
The Other Person is Spoken For
You walk up to a hot chick or guy and give them your best pick up line and they turn you down. Either they don’t like pick up lines or they are not interested in meeting anyone new, or both.
When you want to meet someone knew do your homework which means, don't use pick up lines!
The Person is Not Attracted to You
We cannot please everyone. I think a pick up line would only work if the other person was truly interested, and I mean physically attracted to you. There is no other way. No one wants to admit to being so gullible. Most of the time the pick up is a flat out turn off.
If I ended up going out with a guy that used a pick up line, it would have to be that I bypassed his words and found something else intriguing about him. Then I would tell them later, “You know that cheesy line you tried to use on me didn’t work in the least. It was your eyes that I couldn't resist."
Not everyone thinks this way so don't think the pick up line worked.
What Works Then?
Here is a good formula if you are a guy or a girl to go up and talk to someone, no matter where they are.
There are very few rules but one you must follow. Even if you think they have boyfriend or girlfriend, ask no matter what!
The trick is to come across as better than who they are dating now. And, hey you never know, you just might be better, they may be on the brink of a break up or will call you sometime when they are available.
Offer Your Number First
Have your number written down, and your name of course (yes, I do have to remind some of you) and have it ready to go.
If you are the type of person who is all about small talk and thinks that searching for a pen and paper might work well, use this approach.
Make a Date
“How would you like it if I fed you strawberries dipped in chocolate, tonight?!”
Ok wait that’s a pick up line and will not work, I repeat, it will not work.
Once you’ve broken the ice and they know who you are and how to contact you, an invitation is in order.
“You know I would really like to take you out for a drink sometime.”
What if they say “Ok sure!”
Think quickly because now you have to come up with a place and a time.
You can do some investigating.
“What area do you live in?” or “What types of places do you like go to?”
“How about the Red Door Inn on Friday evening?
See how easy that was?
Be Yourself and Not Contrived
Going back to the issue of robotic behavior, avoid it like the plague!
Just be yourself. If you are nervous or feel like you’re going to throw up when talking to a pretty girl just say “You know what, I’m kind of nervous right now. Maybe it’s your smile, it’s truly amazing.”
Do not mention vomiting and only compliment a person’s smile if you are sincere about that. Not being honest has just placed you in the Pick-up-line-zone which I just told you, you need to avoid like the plague. There is nothing worse than paying a false compliment.
“You know you have great teeth” and the person is wearing head gear.
Can you say cheesy 80's flick?
That’s extreme, but you get my point.
So here is the rundown:
-Have your phone number written down or after having a time and place established look for a pen and paper to write down your number.
-Be yourself.
-Don't be a cheesball.
-Fumbling or being a nervous wreck can be endearing but usually not. Still, be honest as to how you fee. What is the worst that can happen?
NOTE: Do not ask for the other persons number.
If you want to know more about this see 'How to Give Someone Your Phone Number' and you will see why it is such a bad idea.
Happy online dating everyone!
Someone asked me the other day what the best pick up line was that I had heard.
Maybe I was just an impressionable young thing but a guy came up and asked me:
“Do you live around here?”
I answered “Yes”
And his response was: “Good then this won’t be long distance…” and he handed me his phone number.
Did this pick up line work?
Of course not!
But I would definitely give him points for being different.
Some believe that pick up lines are the magic pill that will get the opposite sex to be attracted to them instantaneously.
I was also impressed that he offered his number and didn’t ask for mine. How brave of him.
There are many factors why pick up lines do not work:
THEY SOUND TOO CONTRIVED
You are not being yourself but a robot of sorts. That is not interesting. Unless you really are a cheese-ball and know how to work this to your advantage, then you truly have a game plan all your own.
The Other Person is Spoken For
You walk up to a hot chick or guy and give them your best pick up line and they turn you down. Either they don’t like pick up lines or they are not interested in meeting anyone new, or both.
When you want to meet someone knew do your homework which means, don't use pick up lines!
The Person is Not Attracted to You
We cannot please everyone. I think a pick up line would only work if the other person was truly interested, and I mean physically attracted to you. There is no other way. No one wants to admit to being so gullible. Most of the time the pick up is a flat out turn off.
If I ended up going out with a guy that used a pick up line, it would have to be that I bypassed his words and found something else intriguing about him. Then I would tell them later, “You know that cheesy line you tried to use on me didn’t work in the least. It was your eyes that I couldn't resist."
Not everyone thinks this way so don't think the pick up line worked.
What Works Then?
Here is a good formula if you are a guy or a girl to go up and talk to someone, no matter where they are.
There are very few rules but one you must follow. Even if you think they have boyfriend or girlfriend, ask no matter what!
The trick is to come across as better than who they are dating now. And, hey you never know, you just might be better, they may be on the brink of a break up or will call you sometime when they are available.
Offer Your Number First
Have your number written down, and your name of course (yes, I do have to remind some of you) and have it ready to go.
If you are the type of person who is all about small talk and thinks that searching for a pen and paper might work well, use this approach.
Make a Date
“How would you like it if I fed you strawberries dipped in chocolate, tonight?!”
Ok wait that’s a pick up line and will not work, I repeat, it will not work.
Once you’ve broken the ice and they know who you are and how to contact you, an invitation is in order.
“You know I would really like to take you out for a drink sometime.”
What if they say “Ok sure!”
Think quickly because now you have to come up with a place and a time.
You can do some investigating.
“What area do you live in?” or “What types of places do you like go to?”
“How about the Red Door Inn on Friday evening?
See how easy that was?
Be Yourself and Not Contrived
Going back to the issue of robotic behavior, avoid it like the plague!
Just be yourself. If you are nervous or feel like you’re going to throw up when talking to a pretty girl just say “You know what, I’m kind of nervous right now. Maybe it’s your smile, it’s truly amazing.”
Do not mention vomiting and only compliment a person’s smile if you are sincere about that. Not being honest has just placed you in the Pick-up-line-zone which I just told you, you need to avoid like the plague. There is nothing worse than paying a false compliment.
“You know you have great teeth” and the person is wearing head gear.
Can you say cheesy 80's flick?
That’s extreme, but you get my point.
So here is the rundown:
-Have your phone number written down or after having a time and place established look for a pen and paper to write down your number.
-Be yourself.
-Don't be a cheesball.
-Fumbling or being a nervous wreck can be endearing but usually not. Still, be honest as to how you fee. What is the worst that can happen?
NOTE: Do not ask for the other persons number.
If you want to know more about this see 'How to Give Someone Your Phone Number' and you will see why it is such a bad idea.
Happy online dating everyone!
The Succesful Profile Part lV
Tips on Pics for the Guys
I will be as sensitive as possible. I promise.
Men. We appreciate you more than you think and we cannot wait to meet you and appreciate you even more. Let me tell you what women don't appreciate:
Hats
You weren’t expecting that were you.
I’m getting there, trust me.
This is a complicated subject. Hats are the equivalent of two much make up.
You don’t like switch and bait and neither do we. I say hats are ok as long as they are not a primary picture. Don’t post a primary pic with a hat and then have one without a hat either. It’s still switch and bait on a less grand, and lower level.
Yes a hat can be mysterious. Too mysterious to the point of misleading. If you really do wear a hat all the time, bald or not just don’t use it as a primary pic. What I am trying to say is if you have a receding hairline just show it. If you are full on bald show that too. If you refuse to be caught dead without a hat we still need to know!
You and Your Ex With Her Face Scribbled Out
Pretty much of anyone, but especially of a woman! It ould be your mom in the picture who knows. Not a good portrayal of your thoughts on the opposite sex. There are plenty of free programs out there that can help you crop out any background noise in your photo.
If it’s a really good picture of you yes use it and crop it. If it’s just so-so get another photo. Don’t paint that picture for us especially if you are looking for love and not just a date. Everytime you bring up the subject of the opposite sex of someone we don’t know, especially if we like you that is the first image we will see.
Even if your on good terms and they are pretty you come across as a player. Now if you’re a player, yeah post it. Women are supposed to throw themselves at men who attract other women no matter what they look like. But let me tell you the truth in this. It has nothing to do with you. It has to do with competition that just walked in the room. That’s all I have to say. So yeah that should work out rather well for you.
I Wasn't Expecting a Package
Knock-knock. Special delivery!
You have killed all mystery of what makes women want to know more about you when it comes to a physical level. Even on the adult sites! I know plenty of men are going to kill me for giving away the secret. Women are unlike men and don’t think the way men do. I will tell you who does though, other men.The package pics are great for gay men! The bigger, the better.
Beer Cans, Cigs, Socks, The Middle Finger and Blow Up Dolls
Did you ever see the reality show “Average Joe”? All the men were competing for a beautiful woman and one of the last few whom she really liked had to take her to his home. I don’t remember if his place was clean or dirty or if there were socks lying around or not. I do remember he was extremely hot AND: he forgot about his blow up doll in the kitchen. Not sexy. Kind of creepy actually!
Web Cam Pics of You Basking In the Light of Your Monitor With Your Shirt Off
Women are very creative in thought and sometimes jump to conclusions. Remember? Unlike men who are visually stimulated, we are not. We are emotional. When we see something like that we just don’t know what to think except wonder what you have been doing all night. I shudder at the thought.
A professional (or not) portrait of you without your shirt off is great. There are a lot of very tastful pictures that men can post shirtless without being vulgar. If you are at the beach and it looks appropriate, fine.
Although I said women are not visually stimulated, it doesn’t mean we won’t think of you as manly. If you could stand to do some extra sit ups or lose a few pounds or many, opt for the shirt.
This concludes how to post your pic in a friendly manner.
Also see:
A Foolproof Method for Getting Your Email Noticed
I will be as sensitive as possible. I promise.
Men. We appreciate you more than you think and we cannot wait to meet you and appreciate you even more. Let me tell you what women don't appreciate:
Hats
You weren’t expecting that were you.
I’m getting there, trust me.
This is a complicated subject. Hats are the equivalent of two much make up.
You don’t like switch and bait and neither do we. I say hats are ok as long as they are not a primary picture. Don’t post a primary pic with a hat and then have one without a hat either. It’s still switch and bait on a less grand, and lower level.
Yes a hat can be mysterious. Too mysterious to the point of misleading. If you really do wear a hat all the time, bald or not just don’t use it as a primary pic. What I am trying to say is if you have a receding hairline just show it. If you are full on bald show that too. If you refuse to be caught dead without a hat we still need to know!
You and Your Ex With Her Face Scribbled Out
Pretty much of anyone, but especially of a woman! It ould be your mom in the picture who knows. Not a good portrayal of your thoughts on the opposite sex. There are plenty of free programs out there that can help you crop out any background noise in your photo.
If it’s a really good picture of you yes use it and crop it. If it’s just so-so get another photo. Don’t paint that picture for us especially if you are looking for love and not just a date. Everytime you bring up the subject of the opposite sex of someone we don’t know, especially if we like you that is the first image we will see.
Even if your on good terms and they are pretty you come across as a player. Now if you’re a player, yeah post it. Women are supposed to throw themselves at men who attract other women no matter what they look like. But let me tell you the truth in this. It has nothing to do with you. It has to do with competition that just walked in the room. That’s all I have to say. So yeah that should work out rather well for you.
I Wasn't Expecting a Package
Knock-knock. Special delivery!
You have killed all mystery of what makes women want to know more about you when it comes to a physical level. Even on the adult sites! I know plenty of men are going to kill me for giving away the secret. Women are unlike men and don’t think the way men do. I will tell you who does though, other men.The package pics are great for gay men! The bigger, the better.
Beer Cans, Cigs, Socks, The Middle Finger and Blow Up Dolls
Did you ever see the reality show “Average Joe”? All the men were competing for a beautiful woman and one of the last few whom she really liked had to take her to his home. I don’t remember if his place was clean or dirty or if there were socks lying around or not. I do remember he was extremely hot AND: he forgot about his blow up doll in the kitchen. Not sexy. Kind of creepy actually!
Web Cam Pics of You Basking In the Light of Your Monitor With Your Shirt Off
Women are very creative in thought and sometimes jump to conclusions. Remember? Unlike men who are visually stimulated, we are not. We are emotional. When we see something like that we just don’t know what to think except wonder what you have been doing all night. I shudder at the thought.
A professional (or not) portrait of you without your shirt off is great. There are a lot of very tastful pictures that men can post shirtless without being vulgar. If you are at the beach and it looks appropriate, fine.
Although I said women are not visually stimulated, it doesn’t mean we won’t think of you as manly. If you could stand to do some extra sit ups or lose a few pounds or many, opt for the shirt.
This concludes how to post your pic in a friendly manner.
Also see:
A Foolproof Method for Getting Your Email Noticed
The Successful Profile lll
Do's and Dont's for t
There are many men out there that would be plenty turned off if you come across as trashy or just plain clueless about the way you look. There are ways to be sexually attractive and instill a little bit of mystery.
Here are some ideas of what not to do and some alternatives.
To Much Make Up
Wear very little or none at all. Hire a make up artist or go to a cosmetic counter with a camera and tell them what you are doing and have them take your pic. Do it after you get your hair done. See more about hair below. Also include a pic of you in a very casual setting. Men want to know what they’re signing up for so don’t cover it up with cover up.
Big Hair
Told ya' I'm getting blatant!
If you don't know if you have big hair, ask a friend. If you suspect you have big hair and they tell you that you don't, they're lying. Tame your mane and update your pic. Go and get some magazines and look at hairstyles that appeal to you and take them to a salon. Don’t expect exactness Hairstylist know tricks to make a look work with your facial features and not against them. If you don’t know what salon to go to, when your in public and see a woman with great hair ask her where she goes. She’ll be flattered and tell you. If you have long hair make sure you don’t ask a women with short hair and vice versa.
Clothes Don't Quite Fit Right
You don't look too comfortable my dear. If you are bit on the heavier side be extra cautious about what you wear in your pic. Don't wear too much black although slimming. It can look drab. Maybe wear your favorite top that is not too showy and some black dress pants. Jeans are great especially if they define you, just not too tight if you know what I'm saying. If you are able, throw in another pic of you dressed up or in some other variety of clothing. How about that pic of you at the make up counter? With your hair done even! I wouldn’t suggest anything too flowery or anything with crazy cuts.You will score extra points if you wear a nice dress. Very feminine, very HOT.
Unflattering Poses
Only 50's pin up girls could get away with the chest out, hand behind the head and the other hand on the hip pose. Look natural, not animated.
Don't Show Your Butt!
Especially if you need to do an extra twenty minutes on the tread mill. Save shots like this for adult sites if you’re going that route. You are only inviting a slew of weirdo’s knocking at your virtual door. In my opinion some cleavage is ok and so is a two piece swimsuit. If you've got the body, flaunt it. Tastefully. Remember. Kill or be killed. Are we not, some of us anyway, women?
The Successful Profile lV
There are many men out there that would be plenty turned off if you come across as trashy or just plain clueless about the way you look. There are ways to be sexually attractive and instill a little bit of mystery.
Here are some ideas of what not to do and some alternatives.
To Much Make Up
Wear very little or none at all. Hire a make up artist or go to a cosmetic counter with a camera and tell them what you are doing and have them take your pic. Do it after you get your hair done. See more about hair below. Also include a pic of you in a very casual setting. Men want to know what they’re signing up for so don’t cover it up with cover up.
Big Hair
Told ya' I'm getting blatant!
If you don't know if you have big hair, ask a friend. If you suspect you have big hair and they tell you that you don't, they're lying. Tame your mane and update your pic. Go and get some magazines and look at hairstyles that appeal to you and take them to a salon. Don’t expect exactness Hairstylist know tricks to make a look work with your facial features and not against them. If you don’t know what salon to go to, when your in public and see a woman with great hair ask her where she goes. She’ll be flattered and tell you. If you have long hair make sure you don’t ask a women with short hair and vice versa.
Clothes Don't Quite Fit Right
You don't look too comfortable my dear. If you are bit on the heavier side be extra cautious about what you wear in your pic. Don't wear too much black although slimming. It can look drab. Maybe wear your favorite top that is not too showy and some black dress pants. Jeans are great especially if they define you, just not too tight if you know what I'm saying. If you are able, throw in another pic of you dressed up or in some other variety of clothing. How about that pic of you at the make up counter? With your hair done even! I wouldn’t suggest anything too flowery or anything with crazy cuts.You will score extra points if you wear a nice dress. Very feminine, very HOT.
Unflattering Poses
Only 50's pin up girls could get away with the chest out, hand behind the head and the other hand on the hip pose. Look natural, not animated.
Don't Show Your Butt!
Especially if you need to do an extra twenty minutes on the tread mill. Save shots like this for adult sites if you’re going that route. You are only inviting a slew of weirdo’s knocking at your virtual door. In my opinion some cleavage is ok and so is a two piece swimsuit. If you've got the body, flaunt it. Tastefully. Remember. Kill or be killed. Are we not, some of us anyway, women?
The Successful Profile lV
The Successful Profile Redux
Guidelines for Your PC
As mentioned before you want to stand out from the crowd. From here on out I want to you think of yourself as "not like the rest".
Shallow as it may seem your pic is the first thing that people are going to look for. Now repeat after me. "Reality". Take a deep breath. Let it go.
So what's in a picture you ask? Well. Everything! If the eyes are the window to the soul your profile pic is your entire physical existence!
There are some rules to posting pictures online if you want to score, er, I mean, to get people to look at your profile.
1,) They need to be recent photos
2.) They need to grab attention
3.) You need to be able to see what you are looking at
In other words they need to be close up.
Attention!
The next time you cruise, yes I said cruise...when you cruise pics online count how many you passed up. Just for fun.
Look at why you skipped over them. On second glance some of them had deep brown eyes just the way you like.
You cannot afford a second glance in online dating. Kill or be killed! Hunt or be hunted. Ok wait stop...
You don't need just one pic, you need two and both need to be stellar representation of you.Why waste money on a singles site if you don't invest? Face it. You need better pics.
A face shot and a body shot will work. There is nothing worse than seeing a picture taken from far away and that is the only pic in the profile. I paid money too you know!
Some good pictures will show things that you like to do. If your hiking or camping, those can be fun pictures. If you sky dive, use that pic as long as your face is not distorted by gforces.
It's perfectly acceptable to post pics of you and friends at a party or a bar. Be very clear of which one is you? Are their two hot red heads in the pic? Are you two twins? You must be clear.
Do you have pictures of you and your pet? Or maybe a picture that was published in the news or online.
Posting pictures of your kids works well if you are looking for a relationship, or marriage but not if you are looking to just date or have activity friends. Mention you have children if you like, but just don't post the picture. You will get more responses that way.
So what type of pics make the bad list?
-Pictures that are blurry.
-Pics that are too far away.
-No scribbled out ex’s!
-No ex’s at all!
-No nudes or lewd photos unless it’s an adult site. Apparently anything goes in there.
-No bad hair days. Facial hair included.
-Don't post silly or humorous pics. The plan never works the way you expect it.
Next I will be blunt with some gender specific complaints and ways to correct them.
The Successful Profile lll
As mentioned before you want to stand out from the crowd. From here on out I want to you think of yourself as "not like the rest".
Shallow as it may seem your pic is the first thing that people are going to look for. Now repeat after me. "Reality". Take a deep breath. Let it go.
So what's in a picture you ask? Well. Everything! If the eyes are the window to the soul your profile pic is your entire physical existence!
There are some rules to posting pictures online if you want to score, er, I mean, to get people to look at your profile.
1,) They need to be recent photos
2.) They need to grab attention
3.) You need to be able to see what you are looking at
In other words they need to be close up.
Attention!
The next time you cruise, yes I said cruise...when you cruise pics online count how many you passed up. Just for fun.
Look at why you skipped over them. On second glance some of them had deep brown eyes just the way you like.
You cannot afford a second glance in online dating. Kill or be killed! Hunt or be hunted. Ok wait stop...
You don't need just one pic, you need two and both need to be stellar representation of you.Why waste money on a singles site if you don't invest? Face it. You need better pics.
A face shot and a body shot will work. There is nothing worse than seeing a picture taken from far away and that is the only pic in the profile. I paid money too you know!
Some good pictures will show things that you like to do. If your hiking or camping, those can be fun pictures. If you sky dive, use that pic as long as your face is not distorted by gforces.
It's perfectly acceptable to post pics of you and friends at a party or a bar. Be very clear of which one is you? Are their two hot red heads in the pic? Are you two twins? You must be clear.
Do you have pictures of you and your pet? Or maybe a picture that was published in the news or online.
Posting pictures of your kids works well if you are looking for a relationship, or marriage but not if you are looking to just date or have activity friends. Mention you have children if you like, but just don't post the picture. You will get more responses that way.
So what type of pics make the bad list?
-Pictures that are blurry.
-Pics that are too far away.
-No scribbled out ex’s!
-No ex’s at all!
-No nudes or lewd photos unless it’s an adult site. Apparently anything goes in there.
-No bad hair days. Facial hair included.
-Don't post silly or humorous pics. The plan never works the way you expect it.
Next I will be blunt with some gender specific complaints and ways to correct them.
The Successful Profile lll
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