Focus

DO YOU DIGITAL DATE WITH A PURPOSE?
Is cruising online dating sites a priority for you? Or is it something done randomly or out of lack of a better reason. I will not bring up being bored. Only people still in high school still get bored. If you suspect you may be bored, see my article on How Not to be Bored or Boring.

WHAT IS IT THAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR?
You need to set priorities of what you want to accomplish through your online endeavors. Think of it this way: if you focus on finding a spouse, you won’t need to digital date anymore. You shift your focus from online dating to taking care of your spouse.

If you like online dating and you just want to meet people while traveling, then your priority is to know when you travel and look for people in those cities in which you would like to meet.

NARROWING DOWN YOUR FOCUS
The number one complaint I hear from digital daters is that they often don’t get a response from someone they have started a conversation or set up a meeting with.

Now don’t beat yourself up over this. This can be cured in a relatively easy and painless manner.

There are tons of reasons why people do not respond which I will list later. Two factors come into play. Are they playing the field too widely? Are they focused in what they are looking for at all?

The best way to find out is to just ask.

First find your own purpose and decide what you expect from someone. You obviously want to be on the same page about things. So just ask.

NARROWING DOWN EVEN MORE
Your next step should be for you yourself to play the field, but not so loosely. You need to find 3 to 5 people IN YOUR AREA that are really interested in you and only focus on those five at the moment.

Out of those three to five people, ask them how serious they are about meeting someone and what they too are looking for.

It is that simple.

MORE ON GEOGRAPHICS
It is not enough to say you are open minded in either having a long distance relationship or that you are willing to meet someone from out of state or the country.

Depending on how serious you are you need to take the plunge and be willing to either, fly, drive or swim to see that person. Or be accommodating if they happen to be or travel to your area.

It is also not enough to say “I will fly you out here”. Meet them first and make that offer another time. If you are too busy to go and meet someone you are interested in from online, maybe online dating is not your focus at the moment.

Especially for women, I don’t know many that would be that daring or feel that safe to just jump on a plane to a strange land to meet someone for the first time.

Once you have established some raptor with someone then its more than a possibility or even better they will offer to come to you!

TAKE ACTION
STEP ONE: Decide on your purpose. What is your priority?

Example: Would like to meet someone into bondage.

STEP TWO: Find 3 to 5 people who interest you that are into bondage.

STEP THREE: Ask what their priority is for being online.

“We have exchanged two emails and so far I like what I am seeing. How serious are you about meeting someone from online?”

“What are the possibilities that we can take it to the next level? I feel very comfortable in our online conversation. Here is my phone number if you would like to talk some more about our interests.”

ELIMI-DATE
Now that you have put out the signal that you are interested, your job is to wait and see who takes the bait. If you offer up your phone number and do not receive a call, don’t take it personally. This person is either not serious, is scared off by a phone conversation or quite possibly has found another person who they were more compatible with.

These are not tragic issues. The beauty of online is there is no commitment.

Out of your 3-5 people if you do not meet one by the time you reach the end of your list just start the process over again.

It’s that easy.