Digital Dater Dating Poll
WOMEN:
When browsing the online
personals do you go out or
respond to last minute dates
with men?
Vote here!
Create a dating poll that we use and get a FREE GMAIL account!
What to Do if this Happens to You
What happens when you call or email someone to make a date and they can never make the time for you? That or they just altogether drop all contact!
Annoying isn't it?
Its a shallow world but the best thing you can do is move on.
There is no rhyme or reason as to why people do not respond other than dating online is so... "no strings attatched" people do not feel the remorse of ditching others.
Alright that happens off line too. Same rules apply. Move on.
Its kind of like the example of using a credit card v. cash. There is no emotional attatchment to making purchases with credit cards. When you pay cash, its a different story. Your way more careful what you do with it because the fact is money is more tangible.
You are better off just forgetting about said flake, not take it personally and go out and have some fun.
(What were some of the reasons why did you didn't return an email or contact with someone you hooked up with (or not) online?)
The Pitfalls of Online Dating
(This article is not for the easily insulted. If the truth is too much for you skip this part and go back to the Focus article. Comments are definintely encouraged.)
It’s a Numbers Game
In short, for men it’s never knowing what you will get because there are not enough quality women dating online. Every one of them cannot be a knockout.
For women, you run the risk of being one of many on the roster for certain guys who “troll” online looking for someone, anyone, who will give them the time of day or use you to idly pass time or for sex.
What Are the Odds?
Online dating is much harder for men. Men are more likely to have access to computers than women. They are more likely to cruise and subscribe and send out the dating vibe on a dating site than women are. They are more driven and focused when it comes to finding a date. Once again, because there are more men, and because they may be looking for a certain type of woman, they are more likely to be rejected.
Men are more open about what they want as well. They know it, and they say it. Women are more logical and emotional and need to see they can trust someone. When they see the trust, they then need a reason to follow through with a date.
It’s a Woman’s World
Women usually have their pick in the dating world. In general men suffer from rejection much more often than women when it comes to dating.
How about online?
You bet. Whether women know it or not, they definitely have their pick and not the other way around. They have absolute power and absolute power corrupts! Women are outnumbered and literally get anywhere from 10 to 100 emails a day. What an ego boost!
But that is where the corruption comes in.
Some women will answer an email just to be polite, because women at times have a hard time saying no.
Additionally, in order to keep the masses of men entertained and morale high, there needs to be a lot of women online. Fake women even! For every 3 men who date online there are two women. One is probably an model posing for and advertisment!
The Secret is Out
For men and women the least of their worries should be people who are married (although not advised) legally seperated or who have children—There are plenty of other sterotypes that need to be avoided!
Red Flags For Men to Look For:
-Continually being turned down after asking for several dates (chicks just don’t know how to say no). Women who make a lot of excuses like they were busy, they have plans or another date, they forgot, email was down, and so on. Save yourself some agony. They are what breakfast cereals are made of; flakes.
If they sound sincere in their apology and arrange another meeting time, that is a bit more permissible. Life happens and plans change.
I'll give girls a break. Myself, I had to literally ask serveral men how to tell a man without crushing him that I wasn't interested. What a funny question. I didn't know. Now I do and some men don't like that answer still.
Point blank you tell them: I'm not interested.
Men, don't try this with women it's totally different!
Some more red flags...
-Women who lead you to a website that has a membership. Not women at all but so-called business men in disguise.
If they really are women:
-The lowest of the low, women who go on dating sites to bait and switch. They act like they are looking for romance, hook you and then try to sell you something. Anything! There are also women who are looking for someone to take them to dinner or a club on a regular basis just to pass time, save money, show you off to their friends or are waiting until their ex-boyfriend comes and hits them up for a booty call. This is a step above street walker. Don’t walk. Run. Unless of course you need a last minute date or romp. In that situation, these kind of girls are perfect.
-Women who need attention and are just after that ego boost. (See “makes excuses.”)
-Women who just broke up with their ex’s just weeks before. Probably the other way around and they got dumped for a reason. This can happen in the case of men as well. Terrible to say men are more likely to jump online and start looking for a hookup sooner than women will when a relationship ends. Woman are more likely to find a temporary boyfriend until the old one comes back. Men are more likely to go online for a new permanent girlfriend.
Red Flags For Women:
-The ever popular dick pic! Boys will be boys but they are just looking for attention. Even negative attention. Anything will do. If you decide to be daring that's fine, but what you see is probably the only what you will get.
-A profile that contains defamatory comments about the opposite gender. Avoid these men like the plague. They will also try and tell you how it is going to be: They make the rules and the rules always work out in their favor despite what you think. It is never win-win. To them, all women love assholes!
Their self-esteem is in the gutter and they will try to tell you that yours is too! They are toxic and should be avoided.
-A man’s favorite game is to hold back to keep you interested. This is a player’s game that will always backfire. The saying is we long for what we cannot have or absense makes the heart grow fonder. Not after a few dates! After you get to know someone it is still not appropriate to distance yourself, and yes you miss your honey more.
(Note: this is not a game but human nature when it comes to women. When a woman is not receiving the affection she needs (a female’s need for affection is the equivelant of sex to a guy), this causes a natural form of distress and she distances herself UNINTENTIONALLY. It’s her natural instinct to do so. You cannot argue with hard-wiring.
Men know how it feels to be distanced. So in turn they think this is a tactic that will work to their advantage. But when you distance yourself from a woman, the only ones who will run back are the needy. A smart woman will just walk away until the guy comes around—that is if he is serious, or if she hasn’t already moved on.)
-Guys who ask for last minute dates or are traveling from out of town looking for a hookup.
Someone stood them up or cancelled and you are just next in line to either turn them down or meet up for cocktails. You are just a back up.
If they travel a lot, once they get to know you they don't have to book a hotel anymore. Why would they?
Other Red Flags For Both Genders:
-Credit cards to access information or a profile.
-You suspect a person is married. They want to see you all the time but make up excuses why they can’t. All their spare time is devoted to you so it seems they are not married or in a relationship at all. Just ask them if your gut tells you something is off. The truth will surface.
-Does not want to exchange pictures. This kind of person, both man and woman, if they insist are too self conscious or is into game playing so just walk away.
-If you suspect a person has children and they don’t tell you. Think about if you are after a fling or not. That is all they might be looking for or they don't trust you enough to share that kind of information with you yet.
If they are not serious about you, just have fun if that is all you are looking for. If they want to take the relationship to the next level, they will bring up their personal and family life. If it’s not something you want, just ask or tell them that you want to know the truth. Stay or go, your choice.
(Please send me your “red flags” and keep online dating safe, fun and for people in the know.)
info@dynamicsofdating.com
It’s a Numbers Game
In short, for men it’s never knowing what you will get because there are not enough quality women dating online. Every one of them cannot be a knockout.
For women, you run the risk of being one of many on the roster for certain guys who “troll” online looking for someone, anyone, who will give them the time of day or use you to idly pass time or for sex.
What Are the Odds?
Online dating is much harder for men. Men are more likely to have access to computers than women. They are more likely to cruise and subscribe and send out the dating vibe on a dating site than women are. They are more driven and focused when it comes to finding a date. Once again, because there are more men, and because they may be looking for a certain type of woman, they are more likely to be rejected.
Men are more open about what they want as well. They know it, and they say it. Women are more logical and emotional and need to see they can trust someone. When they see the trust, they then need a reason to follow through with a date.
It’s a Woman’s World
Women usually have their pick in the dating world. In general men suffer from rejection much more often than women when it comes to dating.
How about online?
You bet. Whether women know it or not, they definitely have their pick and not the other way around. They have absolute power and absolute power corrupts! Women are outnumbered and literally get anywhere from 10 to 100 emails a day. What an ego boost!
But that is where the corruption comes in.
Some women will answer an email just to be polite, because women at times have a hard time saying no.
Additionally, in order to keep the masses of men entertained and morale high, there needs to be a lot of women online. Fake women even! For every 3 men who date online there are two women. One is probably an model posing for and advertisment!
The Secret is Out
For men and women the least of their worries should be people who are married (although not advised) legally seperated or who have children—There are plenty of other sterotypes that need to be avoided!
Red Flags For Men to Look For:
-Continually being turned down after asking for several dates (chicks just don’t know how to say no). Women who make a lot of excuses like they were busy, they have plans or another date, they forgot, email was down, and so on. Save yourself some agony. They are what breakfast cereals are made of; flakes.
If they sound sincere in their apology and arrange another meeting time, that is a bit more permissible. Life happens and plans change.
I'll give girls a break. Myself, I had to literally ask serveral men how to tell a man without crushing him that I wasn't interested. What a funny question. I didn't know. Now I do and some men don't like that answer still.
Point blank you tell them: I'm not interested.
Men, don't try this with women it's totally different!
Some more red flags...
-Women who lead you to a website that has a membership. Not women at all but so-called business men in disguise.
If they really are women:
-The lowest of the low, women who go on dating sites to bait and switch. They act like they are looking for romance, hook you and then try to sell you something. Anything! There are also women who are looking for someone to take them to dinner or a club on a regular basis just to pass time, save money, show you off to their friends or are waiting until their ex-boyfriend comes and hits them up for a booty call. This is a step above street walker. Don’t walk. Run. Unless of course you need a last minute date or romp. In that situation, these kind of girls are perfect.
-Women who need attention and are just after that ego boost. (See “makes excuses.”)
-Women who just broke up with their ex’s just weeks before. Probably the other way around and they got dumped for a reason. This can happen in the case of men as well. Terrible to say men are more likely to jump online and start looking for a hookup sooner than women will when a relationship ends. Woman are more likely to find a temporary boyfriend until the old one comes back. Men are more likely to go online for a new permanent girlfriend.
Red Flags For Women:
-The ever popular dick pic! Boys will be boys but they are just looking for attention. Even negative attention. Anything will do. If you decide to be daring that's fine, but what you see is probably the only what you will get.
-A profile that contains defamatory comments about the opposite gender. Avoid these men like the plague. They will also try and tell you how it is going to be: They make the rules and the rules always work out in their favor despite what you think. It is never win-win. To them, all women love assholes!
Their self-esteem is in the gutter and they will try to tell you that yours is too! They are toxic and should be avoided.
-A man’s favorite game is to hold back to keep you interested. This is a player’s game that will always backfire. The saying is we long for what we cannot have or absense makes the heart grow fonder. Not after a few dates! After you get to know someone it is still not appropriate to distance yourself, and yes you miss your honey more.
(Note: this is not a game but human nature when it comes to women. When a woman is not receiving the affection she needs (a female’s need for affection is the equivelant of sex to a guy), this causes a natural form of distress and she distances herself UNINTENTIONALLY. It’s her natural instinct to do so. You cannot argue with hard-wiring.
Men know how it feels to be distanced. So in turn they think this is a tactic that will work to their advantage. But when you distance yourself from a woman, the only ones who will run back are the needy. A smart woman will just walk away until the guy comes around—that is if he is serious, or if she hasn’t already moved on.)
-Guys who ask for last minute dates or are traveling from out of town looking for a hookup.
Someone stood them up or cancelled and you are just next in line to either turn them down or meet up for cocktails. You are just a back up.
If they travel a lot, once they get to know you they don't have to book a hotel anymore. Why would they?
Other Red Flags For Both Genders:
-Credit cards to access information or a profile.
-You suspect a person is married. They want to see you all the time but make up excuses why they can’t. All their spare time is devoted to you so it seems they are not married or in a relationship at all. Just ask them if your gut tells you something is off. The truth will surface.
-Does not want to exchange pictures. This kind of person, both man and woman, if they insist are too self conscious or is into game playing so just walk away.
-If you suspect a person has children and they don’t tell you. Think about if you are after a fling or not. That is all they might be looking for or they don't trust you enough to share that kind of information with you yet.
If they are not serious about you, just have fun if that is all you are looking for. If they want to take the relationship to the next level, they will bring up their personal and family life. If it’s not something you want, just ask or tell them that you want to know the truth. Stay or go, your choice.
(Please send me your “red flags” and keep online dating safe, fun and for people in the know.)
info@dynamicsofdating.com
How Does Online Dating Work For You?
Myth: Online Dating Does Not Work
You have heard it before and may even say it yourself:
Online dating just doesn’t work.
I would have to agree for the most part that it does not work for everyone. But there are some obvious success stories out there that I would love to hear about. I’m sure others would love to hear about your experiences too.
So if you’re cynical about the process “working” why not just make online dating work for you?
They say the best love happens when you least expect it.
You may be pleasantly surprised when you get something really good when you least expected it. Take online dating for an example!
Just like in the real world you have to narrow your scope while still casting your net wide.
More than anything, you need to get out and forget about dating and work on you. Yes this can be achieved when dating online.
Go out to places that you enjoy, join classes, open your mind.
Read more, read less, listen to music more, don’t listen to music, watch bad TV, don’t watch TV at all.
Volunteer. Switch jobs. Move.
Even just hanging out with your friends will help tremendously and ditching the ones you don't need in your life will be even better.
Another point about friends is to always be on your best behavior.
I met a great guy online but he just couldn't get past his negative issues with women. If he had also turned off the inner dialogue and not made comments about every single person in public, I could have hooked him up with some girlfriends of mine.
You live. You learn.
Work on you first.
You never know, the person you least expected to be your true love may be online—in the least possible place you expected.
(Please email me your sucess stories from online dating whether it was just friends, a long term romance or marriage!)
You have heard it before and may even say it yourself:
Online dating just doesn’t work.
I would have to agree for the most part that it does not work for everyone. But there are some obvious success stories out there that I would love to hear about. I’m sure others would love to hear about your experiences too.
So if you’re cynical about the process “working” why not just make online dating work for you?
They say the best love happens when you least expect it.
You may be pleasantly surprised when you get something really good when you least expected it. Take online dating for an example!
Just like in the real world you have to narrow your scope while still casting your net wide.
More than anything, you need to get out and forget about dating and work on you. Yes this can be achieved when dating online.
Go out to places that you enjoy, join classes, open your mind.
Read more, read less, listen to music more, don’t listen to music, watch bad TV, don’t watch TV at all.
Volunteer. Switch jobs. Move.
Even just hanging out with your friends will help tremendously and ditching the ones you don't need in your life will be even better.
Another point about friends is to always be on your best behavior.
I met a great guy online but he just couldn't get past his negative issues with women. If he had also turned off the inner dialogue and not made comments about every single person in public, I could have hooked him up with some girlfriends of mine.
You live. You learn.
Work on you first.
You never know, the person you least expected to be your true love may be online—in the least possible place you expected.
(Please email me your sucess stories from online dating whether it was just friends, a long term romance or marriage!)
Online Dating Profile Series
The Successful Profile
-Truth in Advertising
The Successful Profile Redux
-Guidlines for Your PC
-Attention!
The Successful Profile lll
-Do's & Donts for the Ladies
-Too Much Make Up
-Big Hair
-Clothes Don't Fit Quite Right
-Unflattering Poses
-Too Much Information! (Don't Show Your Butt!)
The Successful Profile lV
-Tips on Pics for the Guys
-Hats
-You and Your Ex With Her Face Scribbled Out
-I Wasn't Expecting a Package
-Beer Cans, Cigs, Socks, the Middle Finger and Blow Up Dolls
-No Shirt, No Service
A Fool Proof Method to Getting Your Email Noticed
-Preferences
-Location
-Description & Interest
-Got Pics?
-Truth in Advertising
The Successful Profile Redux
-Guidlines for Your PC
-Attention!
The Successful Profile lll
-Do's & Donts for the Ladies
-Too Much Make Up
-Big Hair
-Clothes Don't Fit Quite Right
-Unflattering Poses
-Too Much Information! (Don't Show Your Butt!)
The Successful Profile lV
-Tips on Pics for the Guys
-Hats
-You and Your Ex With Her Face Scribbled Out
-I Wasn't Expecting a Package
-Beer Cans, Cigs, Socks, the Middle Finger and Blow Up Dolls
-No Shirt, No Service
A Fool Proof Method to Getting Your Email Noticed
-Preferences
-Location
-Description & Interest
-Got Pics?
Dating Rules!
Universal Dating Regulations and Bylaws
This is a hilarious book but is the authority of when, how and who to date.
It even answers the mysterious questions of who pays for a date and when you should or shouldn't have sex!
This is a hilarious book but is the authority of when, how and who to date.
It even answers the mysterious questions of who pays for a date and when you should or shouldn't have sex!
Digital Dater Discussion
The easiest by far! I started a discussion on the ever popular Craigslist.
Please use this as a comments area in regards to blog posts or general discussion.
Here is the link:
Go to the Online Dating Forum
Please use this as a comments area in regards to blog posts or general discussion.
Here is the link:
Go to the Online Dating Forum
A Foolproof Method to Getting Your Email Noticed
How many emails have you sent out and you don't get any response?
I'm sure you have heard that women can get up to 150 to 200 emails in a 24 hour period and men only get 2 or 3 for every now and then.
There are four rules to think about when replying to personals ads:
1) Do you fit her preferences? Age, height, LTR, NSA, kids no kids, healthy, non-drinker, non-smoker, etc.
2) Do you live close to the area that they are in or do you travel to that location on a regular basis?
3) Do you give a description of yourself or do you just type the words "holla back" or simply say "your pic gets mine" or "hello"?
4) Did you remember to send a picture of yourself?
All people ask for is that a others be sensitive to their preferences, and are within a reasonable distance or willing to travel.
You should give them a description about yourself. What are some thinks that you like and or prefer, or make some comments on the recipiants post and the all important task of sending them a picture of yourself.
It's really quite simple.
This article has been helpful to many so far so I am excited for you all!
Side note:
-Once a womans replys are reduced, then and only then can they start reading and replying to emails instead of spending time sending them all to the trash.
-If the profile looks too good to be true, don't be surprised if you get an email asking you to join a dating site! They are not real.
Take care everyone and happy online-dating!
Also see:
The Successful Profile Redux
The Successful Profile lll
The Successful Profile lV
I'm sure you have heard that women can get up to 150 to 200 emails in a 24 hour period and men only get 2 or 3 for every now and then.
There are four rules to think about when replying to personals ads:
1) Do you fit her preferences? Age, height, LTR, NSA, kids no kids, healthy, non-drinker, non-smoker, etc.
2) Do you live close to the area that they are in or do you travel to that location on a regular basis?
3) Do you give a description of yourself or do you just type the words "holla back" or simply say "your pic gets mine" or "hello"?
4) Did you remember to send a picture of yourself?
All people ask for is that a others be sensitive to their preferences, and are within a reasonable distance or willing to travel.
You should give them a description about yourself. What are some thinks that you like and or prefer, or make some comments on the recipiants post and the all important task of sending them a picture of yourself.
It's really quite simple.
This article has been helpful to many so far so I am excited for you all!
Side note:
-Once a womans replys are reduced, then and only then can they start reading and replying to emails instead of spending time sending them all to the trash.
-If the profile looks too good to be true, don't be surprised if you get an email asking you to join a dating site! They are not real.
Take care everyone and happy online-dating!
Also see:
The Successful Profile Redux
The Successful Profile lll
The Successful Profile lV
Seattle deemed #1 one city to hookup in the US
There is an article in the Seattle PI today and a little company who makes personal hygiene products for men did a survey and conclude that:
Seattle is the best city in the US for the hook up!
Ok I have devised my own poll and split it up for a yes or no from both men and women just to see the results.
Vote at the poll here!
Seattle is the best city in the US for the hook up!
Ok I have devised my own poll and split it up for a yes or no from both men and women just to see the results.
Vote at the poll here!
Dutch Explained
Yeah I pull my hair out on this one too. Not to boast but I have never had a problem with it. Trying to decide and explain and take sides really sucks but I did have an observation that you can read in 'Dutch for Ladies and Gentleman'. Notice the title. If this does not apply to you don't worry about it then.
Who should pick up the tab on the first date?
Vote here!
Explain your version of dutch to me.
info@dynamicsofdating.com
Who should pick up the tab on the first date?
Vote here!
Explain your version of dutch to me.
info@dynamicsofdating.com
What do you want?
This is a Trick Question
You're at your favorite dating site clicking profile after profile and notice these little lists and criteria that almost everyone has.
Some are over the top and some are of no mention whatsoever.
Here is and add I posted in a popular dating site which asks:
What do you want?
Most ads I see nowadays are about what the poster wants.
What do you want? Email me a pic and I'll tell you if I've got what you want.
No dick pics please. And don't tell me you want a girl who likes dick pics.
All dick pics will be reported.
I was open an honest about my approach. I wanted guys to tell me what they wanted. What I did not want were dick pics. I only received two pictures of guys who pointed out their names were Dick out of the 55 responses I have received so far.
Not one guy said they wanted a woman who was skinny, a manx in the sack or a woman to take care of their every need. Nor did they mention college education or financial independence.
They did all more or less have the same answer: a lasting relationship.
All in all there was one that I wanted to respond to and didn't because he stated he did not want to live with a girlfriend. Oh well. He sure had a nice picture.
Back to the trick question part.
There is a right answer to this question and it is the basis for any relationship whether you are a man or a woman.
If you think you know what the right answer is send me an email with your reply and the city you are in.
When it comes to a relationship what do you want?
You're at your favorite dating site clicking profile after profile and notice these little lists and criteria that almost everyone has.
Some are over the top and some are of no mention whatsoever.
Here is and add I posted in a popular dating site which asks:
What do you want?
Most ads I see nowadays are about what the poster wants.
What do you want? Email me a pic and I'll tell you if I've got what you want.
No dick pics please. And don't tell me you want a girl who likes dick pics.
All dick pics will be reported.
I was open an honest about my approach. I wanted guys to tell me what they wanted. What I did not want were dick pics. I only received two pictures of guys who pointed out their names were Dick out of the 55 responses I have received so far.
Not one guy said they wanted a woman who was skinny, a manx in the sack or a woman to take care of their every need. Nor did they mention college education or financial independence.
They did all more or less have the same answer: a lasting relationship.
All in all there was one that I wanted to respond to and didn't because he stated he did not want to live with a girlfriend. Oh well. He sure had a nice picture.
Back to the trick question part.
There is a right answer to this question and it is the basis for any relationship whether you are a man or a woman.
If you think you know what the right answer is send me an email with your reply and the city you are in.
When it comes to a relationship what do you want?
More Dating Rules to Break
There's more?
Yes. Three more.
-Men Love Bitches
-There Are Plenty of Fish In the Sea
-Asking Your Friends for Feedback
Do you have a dating rule that you think should be broken?
Let us know so we can pass it on!
info@dynamicsofdating.com
Yes. Three more.
-Men Love Bitches
-There Are Plenty of Fish In the Sea
-Asking Your Friends for Feedback
Do you have a dating rule that you think should be broken?
Let us know so we can pass it on!
info@dynamicsofdating.com
Breaking All The Rules
Do you ever wonder what is going through the minds of some people?
There are dating rules that run rampant in the dating world that just need to go away!
MYTH: MEN AND WOMEN CAN BE "JUST FRIENDS"
This is a debate. I don't know the answer and don't care. It's case by case. You obviously don't want to hang around with someone who is single and be their surrogate mate whether you are spoken for or not. Some people can just be friends. The less mature two people are the less likely they will stay 'just friends'.
Being married or in relationship with someone else is no exception.
If you put a man and a woman in a situation where they continually doing friendly type things...if there is some sort of attraction, depending, someone is going to buckle or already has.
For someone to think its possible to hang out with the opposite sex and get away with it and just being friendly, they are disregarding that other people have feelings too.
What other reason would someone want to just "hang out" with someone?
To get to know them better and possibly have a romantic interlude or relationship, maybe?
Yes there are acceptable factors when two people of the opposite sex can "work" together and like I said it has to do with maturity.
Would you not be floored if you were married and your so-called friend spilled their guts and was wondering when you were going to dump your spouse for them? True stories.
Use your discrection and most importantly look out for the feelings of other people.
There are dating rules that run rampant in the dating world that just need to go away!
MYTH: MEN AND WOMEN CAN BE "JUST FRIENDS"
This is a debate. I don't know the answer and don't care. It's case by case. You obviously don't want to hang around with someone who is single and be their surrogate mate whether you are spoken for or not. Some people can just be friends. The less mature two people are the less likely they will stay 'just friends'.
Being married or in relationship with someone else is no exception.
If you put a man and a woman in a situation where they continually doing friendly type things...if there is some sort of attraction, depending, someone is going to buckle or already has.
For someone to think its possible to hang out with the opposite sex and get away with it and just being friendly, they are disregarding that other people have feelings too.
What other reason would someone want to just "hang out" with someone?
To get to know them better and possibly have a romantic interlude or relationship, maybe?
Yes there are acceptable factors when two people of the opposite sex can "work" together and like I said it has to do with maturity.
Would you not be floored if you were married and your so-called friend spilled their guts and was wondering when you were going to dump your spouse for them? True stories.
Use your discrection and most importantly look out for the feelings of other people.
MYTH: THE SOONER YOU SLEEP WITH SOMEONE, THE MORE YOUR CHANCES FOR SOMETHING LONG TERM ARE DIMINISHED
Who made up this rule?
Men probably did and it may be true in some cases and false in others.
What I hear most is that people have seen it happen. That is because they wanted it that way!
"A girl slept with me on the second date and now I don't respect her."
But the third date would be ok right? See how this is silly?
Men who accept this rule set themselves up and allow women to use sex as a bargaining chip.
Would you pass up a great relationship because someone lived in the heat of the moment?
Would you pass up a date with someone you were really interested in because they didn't want to have sex right away?
To follow this rule is asinine and brings me to the next rule to abolish.
MYTH: A WOMAN SHOULD PUT OUT IN THREE DATES OR SHE IS HISTORY
This has to do with giving people the benefit of the doubt. Is this a good idea or not?
But there are some factors that do not ensue sex by date three.
--You missed her signals.
She has been eyeing you all night, touching you, giving off sexual signals to no end--
And you just sit there being polite. Even a gentleman would know what to do!
He would take her NOW!
Go back to the previous rule so you can see how silly it really is.
(Ridiculous side note: You know what a weird feeling it is for a woman to tell someone they didn't know that well that they were on their period? It kinda spoils the moment. Not only that, with all the restrictions men have it gives a woman a perfect excuse to use that line too!
Try holding out until the fourth date and longer if you can!)
MYTH: ITS BAD TO WEAR YOUR HEART ON YOUR SLEEVE
I want all hearts visable so I know what I am dealing with. You may judge or not judge or be turned off or not. That is up to you. Sometimes it can be a red flag and other times it is completely innocent.
MYTH: MEN WHO DON'T CALL RIGHT AWAY ARE NOT INTERESTED
First things first girls: get a hobby.
Take up anything that will keep you away from the phone.
You are not allowed to sit next to the phone and wait for anyone to call. They will call when they call if they ever do.
The main reason men don't call right away is because they do like you and don't want to screw up their chances and seem too eager. Or sadly they really aren't interested.
Ever notice how some clingy call all the time? Then they wonder why you never call them back!
They too are passing time because they have nothing going on.
There are no guidelines as to wether you should call first or not. If you feel you want to call him do it!
If you call and a guys says..."Oh I was busy"...more than likely he is not interested. You need to weigh the 'terms benefit of the doubt' and 'doormat' very carefully.
An interested person would drop what he is doing to get in touch with you. He would not leave you to wonder if he is going to call, but you should not be wondering because you have a new hobby right?
If he is the kind of person who is into playing games and says "She called me...she just lost some points." and they think they have one over on you, you could be in trouble.
Or they really aren't playing games but are chronic procrastinators (See above: Giving the benefit of the doubt) and just don't call, don't feel too bad if things don't work out.
These people are doing you a favor!
MYTH: NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE LET THE GUY DO SO
This good friends is an art.
There are subtle ways to make the first move without the guy even knowing it!
Instantly he is interested!
If he picks up on the bait he is a smart man.
You can give him all the credit later on how he was so forward in the way he handled you when you first met.
The flip side to this is if you find that you are chasing him he will do two things: Run fast and far
-or-
hook up with you because he has nothing going on or no one else is interested in him.
That is a dynamic that cannot be ignored.
If you are ok with the second scenario pursue away. It is an art don't forget and you don't need to pursue.
If you are looking for something a little more real, its best not to wear your heart on your sleeve especially to a person who is oblivious or just not interested.
A man who knows how to handle women is the one who will be pursuing you!
Bring Back a Lost Love
An online friend turned me on to this invaluable book!
What does it have to do with online dating? Everything! For one thing it is an ebook, and two
if you are using online dating as a tool to hook up with a rebound you may not be over someone else you loved yet. Did you not get the chance to do everything you could to avoid a break up? Its never too late and you never know until you try.
Good luck!
What does it have to do with online dating? Everything! For one thing it is an ebook, and two
if you are using online dating as a tool to hook up with a rebound you may not be over someone else you loved yet. Did you not get the chance to do everything you could to avoid a break up? Its never too late and you never know until you try.
Good luck!
Why Do People Flake Online
The Truth Revealed!!
This is a follow up as to why some people do not repond to emails, post, or drop contact altogether:
The women said:
-No pic in profile or email.
-Just got bored with emailing. Guy procrastinated or didn’t ask them out.
-Lots of one-liners and canned responses. “Hit me back.” “Hi there. “Do you like what you see?” “Your pic gets mine.”
-Same people kept responding to their ads OR they already knew the person or worked with them.
-Too old or too young.
-No details about themselves
-Too many details about themselves
-They just broke up with an ex
-Keeps talking about their ex
-Sloppy grammar along with not being able to hold a conversation
-Just not interested
-The guy was married or looking for a fling
-They were prejudiced or blatantly had issues with women. And these were their best qualities!
-They were a control freak. Expectations too high, too critical. Listed “requirements" but had a problem with women making "laundry-lists"
-Mentioned a fixation with looks or weight
AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON WOMEN DO NOT RESPOND TO POST OR EMAILS:
Dick pics!!
(Yes. Even a gay guy said he hated getting dick pics.)
(Men make a difference in your online dating world! What are the reasons you passed up certain ladies online?)
This is a follow up as to why some people do not repond to emails, post, or drop contact altogether:
The women said:
-No pic in profile or email.
-Just got bored with emailing. Guy procrastinated or didn’t ask them out.
-Lots of one-liners and canned responses. “Hit me back.” “Hi there. “Do you like what you see?” “Your pic gets mine.”
-Same people kept responding to their ads OR they already knew the person or worked with them.
-Too old or too young.
-No details about themselves
-Too many details about themselves
-They just broke up with an ex
-Keeps talking about their ex
-Sloppy grammar along with not being able to hold a conversation
-Just not interested
-The guy was married or looking for a fling
-They were prejudiced or blatantly had issues with women. And these were their best qualities!
-They were a control freak. Expectations too high, too critical. Listed “requirements" but had a problem with women making "laundry-lists"
-Mentioned a fixation with looks or weight
AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON WOMEN DO NOT RESPOND TO POST OR EMAILS:
Dick pics!!
(Yes. Even a gay guy said he hated getting dick pics.)
(Men make a difference in your online dating world! What are the reasons you passed up certain ladies online?)
Make Your Profile Work For You
Would you believe that a serious digital dater would sabotage themselves by not stating specifically what they are looking for?
One of my favorite dating sites is Intimateadults.com and let me tell you why.
They have a compatibility meter that helps you determine if you are, well, compatible!
They also have three categories: Dating, Relationship and Intimate Encounter.
You can tag your profile with just one category or all three.
Intimate Adults lets you sign up for free and browse profiles. Premium members are allowed to use messenger and send messages to others. The free members are allowed to respond and also use the messenger. Anyone can send an “I’m interested” to anyone on the site for free.
It really is a lot of fun!
So how do you make your profile work for you?
My number one rule in dating online or off is this:
-DO NOT SETTLE FOR LESS-
If you are dating out of boredom, you’re wasting your money time and energy and that of others on dating sites.
Some people have told me that my profile is too harsh and chases people away.
Well good. That means it’s working for me!
Out of the hundreds of possibilities I only want the ones who are not afraid and looking for the same things that I am.
When I'm online dating, I specifically state that you should have a picture and at least a compatibility of 90%. They also need to be willing to fly, walk of swim and meet someone across the country or play host while someone is visiting their city.
That is the honest truth.
Here are the responses that I automatically delete.
-No picture in profile.
-A compatibility rating of 89% or less.
-A tag on their profile that says they expect Dating or Intimate Encounters only.
-Persons who do not fit my age specifications. Even by just one year.
-Profiles that have rude or vulgar tag lines.
-People who are married.
WHAT WILL YOU BEND FOR
When dealing with others, no two people can ever bee 100% compatible no matter what your computer generated compatibility dictates.
In work, family and business you need to bend. Not so much to the breaking point but you needs to decide how far or for whom you are willing to do so.
If you find that a woman has a good compatibility score, but is a few pounds overweight, is that an issue for you?
They match your ideal mate in every way but are an Atheist and you are a Buddhist. Can this be overlooked? What is their take on the subject?
DEAL BREAKERS
For some the biggest deal breakers are children, smoking, religion, height and weight. Marriage or divorces are close runner ups. Financial status and education fit in there somewhere I’m sure.
If that is there preference then respect it!
I have seen some people put aside what they consider deal breakers because they genuinely liked the person. And to them it was only bending a little and not a totally compromise.
Just know and test your own limits are and decide where things are going so you understand what you are willing to live with.
Happy Dating!!
digitaldater@thedigitaldater.com
One of my favorite dating sites is Intimateadults.com and let me tell you why.
They have a compatibility meter that helps you determine if you are, well, compatible!
They also have three categories: Dating, Relationship and Intimate Encounter.
You can tag your profile with just one category or all three.
Intimate Adults lets you sign up for free and browse profiles. Premium members are allowed to use messenger and send messages to others. The free members are allowed to respond and also use the messenger. Anyone can send an “I’m interested” to anyone on the site for free.
It really is a lot of fun!
So how do you make your profile work for you?
My number one rule in dating online or off is this:
-DO NOT SETTLE FOR LESS-
If you are dating out of boredom, you’re wasting your money time and energy and that of others on dating sites.
Some people have told me that my profile is too harsh and chases people away.
Well good. That means it’s working for me!
Out of the hundreds of possibilities I only want the ones who are not afraid and looking for the same things that I am.
When I'm online dating, I specifically state that you should have a picture and at least a compatibility of 90%. They also need to be willing to fly, walk of swim and meet someone across the country or play host while someone is visiting their city.
That is the honest truth.
Here are the responses that I automatically delete.
-No picture in profile.
-A compatibility rating of 89% or less.
-A tag on their profile that says they expect Dating or Intimate Encounters only.
-Persons who do not fit my age specifications. Even by just one year.
-Profiles that have rude or vulgar tag lines.
-People who are married.
WHAT WILL YOU BEND FOR
When dealing with others, no two people can ever bee 100% compatible no matter what your computer generated compatibility dictates.
In work, family and business you need to bend. Not so much to the breaking point but you needs to decide how far or for whom you are willing to do so.
If you find that a woman has a good compatibility score, but is a few pounds overweight, is that an issue for you?
They match your ideal mate in every way but are an Atheist and you are a Buddhist. Can this be overlooked? What is their take on the subject?
DEAL BREAKERS
For some the biggest deal breakers are children, smoking, religion, height and weight. Marriage or divorces are close runner ups. Financial status and education fit in there somewhere I’m sure.
If that is there preference then respect it!
I have seen some people put aside what they consider deal breakers because they genuinely liked the person. And to them it was only bending a little and not a totally compromise.
Just know and test your own limits are and decide where things are going so you understand what you are willing to live with.
Happy Dating!!
digitaldater@thedigitaldater.com
Contact Information
Do you have a question you would like answered? Is there a topic you would like to have us dicsuss? Do you have questions about our sponsers?
Write to us and let us know. We would love to hear from you!!
Send your comments to: info@dynamicsofdating.com
Happy online dating!!
Jordan
Write to us and let us know. We would love to hear from you!!
Send your comments to: info@dynamicsofdating.com
Happy online dating!!
Jordan
Focus
DO YOU DIGITAL DATE WITH A PURPOSE?
Is cruising online dating sites a priority for you? Or is it something done randomly or out of lack of a better reason. I will not bring up being bored. Only people still in high school still get bored. If you suspect you may be bored, see my article on How Not to be Bored or Boring.
WHAT IS IT THAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR?
You need to set priorities of what you want to accomplish through your online endeavors. Think of it this way: if you focus on finding a spouse, you won’t need to digital date anymore. You shift your focus from online dating to taking care of your spouse.
If you like online dating and you just want to meet people while traveling, then your priority is to know when you travel and look for people in those cities in which you would like to meet.
NARROWING DOWN YOUR FOCUS
The number one complaint I hear from digital daters is that they often don’t get a response from someone they have started a conversation or set up a meeting with.
Now don’t beat yourself up over this. This can be cured in a relatively easy and painless manner.
There are tons of reasons why people do not respond which I will list later. Two factors come into play. Are they playing the field too widely? Are they focused in what they are looking for at all?
The best way to find out is to just ask.
First find your own purpose and decide what you expect from someone. You obviously want to be on the same page about things. So just ask.
NARROWING DOWN EVEN MORE
Your next step should be for you yourself to play the field, but not so loosely. You need to find 3 to 5 people IN YOUR AREA that are really interested in you and only focus on those five at the moment.
Out of those three to five people, ask them how serious they are about meeting someone and what they too are looking for.
It is that simple.
MORE ON GEOGRAPHICS
It is not enough to say you are open minded in either having a long distance relationship or that you are willing to meet someone from out of state or the country.
Depending on how serious you are you need to take the plunge and be willing to either, fly, drive or swim to see that person. Or be accommodating if they happen to be or travel to your area.
It is also not enough to say “I will fly you out here”. Meet them first and make that offer another time. If you are too busy to go and meet someone you are interested in from online, maybe online dating is not your focus at the moment.
Especially for women, I don’t know many that would be that daring or feel that safe to just jump on a plane to a strange land to meet someone for the first time.
Once you have established some raptor with someone then its more than a possibility or even better they will offer to come to you!
TAKE ACTION
STEP ONE: Decide on your purpose. What is your priority?
Example: Would like to meet someone into bondage.
STEP TWO: Find 3 to 5 people who interest you that are into bondage.
STEP THREE: Ask what their priority is for being online.
“We have exchanged two emails and so far I like what I am seeing. How serious are you about meeting someone from online?”
“What are the possibilities that we can take it to the next level? I feel very comfortable in our online conversation. Here is my phone number if you would like to talk some more about our interests.”
ELIMI-DATE
Now that you have put out the signal that you are interested, your job is to wait and see who takes the bait. If you offer up your phone number and do not receive a call, don’t take it personally. This person is either not serious, is scared off by a phone conversation or quite possibly has found another person who they were more compatible with.
These are not tragic issues. The beauty of online is there is no commitment.
Out of your 3-5 people if you do not meet one by the time you reach the end of your list just start the process over again.
It’s that easy.
Is cruising online dating sites a priority for you? Or is it something done randomly or out of lack of a better reason. I will not bring up being bored. Only people still in high school still get bored. If you suspect you may be bored, see my article on How Not to be Bored or Boring.
WHAT IS IT THAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR?
You need to set priorities of what you want to accomplish through your online endeavors. Think of it this way: if you focus on finding a spouse, you won’t need to digital date anymore. You shift your focus from online dating to taking care of your spouse.
If you like online dating and you just want to meet people while traveling, then your priority is to know when you travel and look for people in those cities in which you would like to meet.
NARROWING DOWN YOUR FOCUS
The number one complaint I hear from digital daters is that they often don’t get a response from someone they have started a conversation or set up a meeting with.
Now don’t beat yourself up over this. This can be cured in a relatively easy and painless manner.
There are tons of reasons why people do not respond which I will list later. Two factors come into play. Are they playing the field too widely? Are they focused in what they are looking for at all?
The best way to find out is to just ask.
First find your own purpose and decide what you expect from someone. You obviously want to be on the same page about things. So just ask.
NARROWING DOWN EVEN MORE
Your next step should be for you yourself to play the field, but not so loosely. You need to find 3 to 5 people IN YOUR AREA that are really interested in you and only focus on those five at the moment.
Out of those three to five people, ask them how serious they are about meeting someone and what they too are looking for.
It is that simple.
MORE ON GEOGRAPHICS
It is not enough to say you are open minded in either having a long distance relationship or that you are willing to meet someone from out of state or the country.
Depending on how serious you are you need to take the plunge and be willing to either, fly, drive or swim to see that person. Or be accommodating if they happen to be or travel to your area.
It is also not enough to say “I will fly you out here”. Meet them first and make that offer another time. If you are too busy to go and meet someone you are interested in from online, maybe online dating is not your focus at the moment.
Especially for women, I don’t know many that would be that daring or feel that safe to just jump on a plane to a strange land to meet someone for the first time.
Once you have established some raptor with someone then its more than a possibility or even better they will offer to come to you!
TAKE ACTION
STEP ONE: Decide on your purpose. What is your priority?
Example: Would like to meet someone into bondage.
STEP TWO: Find 3 to 5 people who interest you that are into bondage.
STEP THREE: Ask what their priority is for being online.
“We have exchanged two emails and so far I like what I am seeing. How serious are you about meeting someone from online?”
“What are the possibilities that we can take it to the next level? I feel very comfortable in our online conversation. Here is my phone number if you would like to talk some more about our interests.”
ELIMI-DATE
Now that you have put out the signal that you are interested, your job is to wait and see who takes the bait. If you offer up your phone number and do not receive a call, don’t take it personally. This person is either not serious, is scared off by a phone conversation or quite possibly has found another person who they were more compatible with.
These are not tragic issues. The beauty of online is there is no commitment.
Out of your 3-5 people if you do not meet one by the time you reach the end of your list just start the process over again.
It’s that easy.
Pick Up Lines
Do They Work?
Someone asked me the other day what the best pick up line was that I had heard.
Maybe I was just an impressionable young thing but a guy came up and asked me:
“Do you live around here?”
I answered “Yes”
And his response was: “Good then this won’t be long distance…” and he handed me his phone number.
Did this pick up line work?
Of course not!
But I would definitely give him points for being different.
Some believe that pick up lines are the magic pill that will get the opposite sex to be attracted to them instantaneously.
I was also impressed that he offered his number and didn’t ask for mine. How brave of him.
There are many factors why pick up lines do not work:
THEY SOUND TOO CONTRIVED
You are not being yourself but a robot of sorts. That is not interesting. Unless you really are a cheese-ball and know how to work this to your advantage, then you truly have a game plan all your own.
The Other Person is Spoken For
You walk up to a hot chick or guy and give them your best pick up line and they turn you down. Either they don’t like pick up lines or they are not interested in meeting anyone new, or both.
When you want to meet someone knew do your homework which means, don't use pick up lines!
The Person is Not Attracted to You
We cannot please everyone. I think a pick up line would only work if the other person was truly interested, and I mean physically attracted to you. There is no other way. No one wants to admit to being so gullible. Most of the time the pick up is a flat out turn off.
If I ended up going out with a guy that used a pick up line, it would have to be that I bypassed his words and found something else intriguing about him. Then I would tell them later, “You know that cheesy line you tried to use on me didn’t work in the least. It was your eyes that I couldn't resist."
Not everyone thinks this way so don't think the pick up line worked.
What Works Then?
Here is a good formula if you are a guy or a girl to go up and talk to someone, no matter where they are.
There are very few rules but one you must follow. Even if you think they have boyfriend or girlfriend, ask no matter what!
The trick is to come across as better than who they are dating now. And, hey you never know, you just might be better, they may be on the brink of a break up or will call you sometime when they are available.
Offer Your Number First
Have your number written down, and your name of course (yes, I do have to remind some of you) and have it ready to go.
If you are the type of person who is all about small talk and thinks that searching for a pen and paper might work well, use this approach.
Make a Date
“How would you like it if I fed you strawberries dipped in chocolate, tonight?!”
Ok wait that’s a pick up line and will not work, I repeat, it will not work.
Once you’ve broken the ice and they know who you are and how to contact you, an invitation is in order.
“You know I would really like to take you out for a drink sometime.”
What if they say “Ok sure!”
Think quickly because now you have to come up with a place and a time.
You can do some investigating.
“What area do you live in?” or “What types of places do you like go to?”
“How about the Red Door Inn on Friday evening?
See how easy that was?
Be Yourself and Not Contrived
Going back to the issue of robotic behavior, avoid it like the plague!
Just be yourself. If you are nervous or feel like you’re going to throw up when talking to a pretty girl just say “You know what, I’m kind of nervous right now. Maybe it’s your smile, it’s truly amazing.”
Do not mention vomiting and only compliment a person’s smile if you are sincere about that. Not being honest has just placed you in the Pick-up-line-zone which I just told you, you need to avoid like the plague. There is nothing worse than paying a false compliment.
“You know you have great teeth” and the person is wearing head gear.
Can you say cheesy 80's flick?
That’s extreme, but you get my point.
So here is the rundown:
-Have your phone number written down or after having a time and place established look for a pen and paper to write down your number.
-Be yourself.
-Don't be a cheesball.
-Fumbling or being a nervous wreck can be endearing but usually not. Still, be honest as to how you fee. What is the worst that can happen?
NOTE: Do not ask for the other persons number.
If you want to know more about this see 'How to Give Someone Your Phone Number' and you will see why it is such a bad idea.
Happy online dating everyone!
Someone asked me the other day what the best pick up line was that I had heard.
Maybe I was just an impressionable young thing but a guy came up and asked me:
“Do you live around here?”
I answered “Yes”
And his response was: “Good then this won’t be long distance…” and he handed me his phone number.
Did this pick up line work?
Of course not!
But I would definitely give him points for being different.
Some believe that pick up lines are the magic pill that will get the opposite sex to be attracted to them instantaneously.
I was also impressed that he offered his number and didn’t ask for mine. How brave of him.
There are many factors why pick up lines do not work:
THEY SOUND TOO CONTRIVED
You are not being yourself but a robot of sorts. That is not interesting. Unless you really are a cheese-ball and know how to work this to your advantage, then you truly have a game plan all your own.
The Other Person is Spoken For
You walk up to a hot chick or guy and give them your best pick up line and they turn you down. Either they don’t like pick up lines or they are not interested in meeting anyone new, or both.
When you want to meet someone knew do your homework which means, don't use pick up lines!
The Person is Not Attracted to You
We cannot please everyone. I think a pick up line would only work if the other person was truly interested, and I mean physically attracted to you. There is no other way. No one wants to admit to being so gullible. Most of the time the pick up is a flat out turn off.
If I ended up going out with a guy that used a pick up line, it would have to be that I bypassed his words and found something else intriguing about him. Then I would tell them later, “You know that cheesy line you tried to use on me didn’t work in the least. It was your eyes that I couldn't resist."
Not everyone thinks this way so don't think the pick up line worked.
What Works Then?
Here is a good formula if you are a guy or a girl to go up and talk to someone, no matter where they are.
There are very few rules but one you must follow. Even if you think they have boyfriend or girlfriend, ask no matter what!
The trick is to come across as better than who they are dating now. And, hey you never know, you just might be better, they may be on the brink of a break up or will call you sometime when they are available.
Offer Your Number First
Have your number written down, and your name of course (yes, I do have to remind some of you) and have it ready to go.
If you are the type of person who is all about small talk and thinks that searching for a pen and paper might work well, use this approach.
Make a Date
“How would you like it if I fed you strawberries dipped in chocolate, tonight?!”
Ok wait that’s a pick up line and will not work, I repeat, it will not work.
Once you’ve broken the ice and they know who you are and how to contact you, an invitation is in order.
“You know I would really like to take you out for a drink sometime.”
What if they say “Ok sure!”
Think quickly because now you have to come up with a place and a time.
You can do some investigating.
“What area do you live in?” or “What types of places do you like go to?”
“How about the Red Door Inn on Friday evening?
See how easy that was?
Be Yourself and Not Contrived
Going back to the issue of robotic behavior, avoid it like the plague!
Just be yourself. If you are nervous or feel like you’re going to throw up when talking to a pretty girl just say “You know what, I’m kind of nervous right now. Maybe it’s your smile, it’s truly amazing.”
Do not mention vomiting and only compliment a person’s smile if you are sincere about that. Not being honest has just placed you in the Pick-up-line-zone which I just told you, you need to avoid like the plague. There is nothing worse than paying a false compliment.
“You know you have great teeth” and the person is wearing head gear.
Can you say cheesy 80's flick?
That’s extreme, but you get my point.
So here is the rundown:
-Have your phone number written down or after having a time and place established look for a pen and paper to write down your number.
-Be yourself.
-Don't be a cheesball.
-Fumbling or being a nervous wreck can be endearing but usually not. Still, be honest as to how you fee. What is the worst that can happen?
NOTE: Do not ask for the other persons number.
If you want to know more about this see 'How to Give Someone Your Phone Number' and you will see why it is such a bad idea.
Happy online dating everyone!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)